Some people believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor, while others disagree and say that it is helping reduce the gap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A group of

individuals

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present the view that modern

technology

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is widening the gap between the rich and the poor,

whereas

Linking Words

others believe it is helping to reduce

this

Linking Words

gap. I strongly agree with the latter opinion, as

technology

Use synonyms

, when accessible, has the potential to create opportunities for everyone. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that modern

technology

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is increasing wealth inequality. One reason is that

access

Use synonyms

to the latest

technology

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is often dependent on socio-economic status, with wealthier

individuals

Use synonyms

being able to afford cutting-edge gadgets and services.

This

Linking Words

access

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gives them a significant advantage in education, work, and social mobility. They

also

Linking Words

present the sound argument that poorer communities frequently lack the infrastructure,

such

Linking Words

as reliable internet

access

Use synonyms

, necessary to benefit from technological advancements,

further

Linking Words

perpetuating the gap between the rich and poor.

As a result

Linking Words

, technological advancements may disproportionately benefit those who are already privileged.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, another group of people claim that

technology

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has been an equalizer by providing low-cost solutions that empower the underprivileged. They insist that digital platforms have democratized

access

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to education and skill development, offering online courses and training that anyone with an internet connection can

access

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Moreover

Linking Words

, innovations like mobile banking and e-commerce platforms allow

individuals

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from lower-income backgrounds to enter financial and business sectors, previously dominated by wealthier players.

However

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, I do not find the argument that

technology

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is exclusive to the rich convincing, as there are numerous examples of

technology

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helping marginalized communities gain

access

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to resources and opportunities.

To conclude

Linking Words

, in my view,

while

Linking Words

technology

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can potentially exacerbate wealth inequality, it

also

Linking Words

offers solutions that can bridge

this

Linking Words

divide when implemented inclusively. The high cost of tech products and limited infrastructure certainly hinder

access

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for poorer communities.

However

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, the increasing availability of affordable digital platforms and services provides the opportunity for lower-income

individuals

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to benefit from

technology

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Therefore

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, proactive measures like infrastructure development and digital literacy programs are essential to ensure that

technology

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serves as an equalizer rather than a divider.

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Sep 27, 2024

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, make sure to support arguments with more specific and varied examples. This will enhance the depth and credibility of the points you make.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly and enhance the flow of your essay. This will help in transitioning between points effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete structure to your argument, which is critical for a coherent piece.

task achievement

You've given a nuanced perspective, acknowledging both views and presenting a strong personal opinion, which demonstrates balanced critical thinking.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well-supported and logically organized, helping to effectively convey your stance and arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

socio-economic status
wealth inequality
infrastructure
tech-enhanced learning
automate
low-skill jobs
digital platforms
mobile banking
financial services
e-commerce
democratizing
marginalized
public-private partnerships
digital literacy
social entrepreneurs

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