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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor, while others disagree and say that it is helping reduce the gap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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A group of
individuals
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 present the view that modern
technology
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 is widening the gap between the rich and the poor,
whereas
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 others believe it is helping to reduce
this
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 gap. I strongly agree with the latter opinion, as
technology
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, when accessible, has the potential to create opportunities for everyone. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that modern
technology
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 is increasing wealth inequality. One reason is that
access
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 to the latest
technology
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 is often dependent on socio-economic status, with wealthier
individuals
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 being able to afford cutting-edge gadgets and services.
This
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access
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 gives them a significant advantage in education, work, and social mobility. They
also
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 present the sound argument that poorer communities frequently lack the infrastructure,
such
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 as reliable internet
access
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, necessary to benefit from technological advancements,
further
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 perpetuating the gap between the rich and poor.
As a result
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, technological advancements may disproportionately benefit those who are already privileged.
On the other hand
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, another group of people claim that
technology
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 has been an equalizer by providing low-cost solutions that empower the underprivileged. They insist that digital platforms have democratized
access
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 to education and skill development, offering online courses and training that anyone with an internet connection can
access
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.
Moreover
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, innovations like mobile banking and e-commerce platforms allow
individuals
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 from lower-income backgrounds to enter financial and business sectors, previously dominated by wealthier players.
However
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, I do not find the argument that
technology
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 is exclusive to the rich convincing, as there are numerous examples of
technology
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 helping marginalized communities gain
access
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 to resources and opportunities.
To conclude
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, in my view,
while
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technology
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 can potentially exacerbate wealth inequality, it
also
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 offers solutions that can bridge
this
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 divide when implemented inclusively. The high cost of tech products and limited infrastructure certainly hinder
access
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 for poorer communities.
However
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, the increasing availability of affordable digital platforms and services provides the opportunity for lower-income
individuals
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 to benefit from
technology
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.
Therefore
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, proactive measures like infrastructure development and digital literacy programs are essential to ensure that
technology
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 serves as an equalizer rather than a divider.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to support arguments with more specific and varied examples. This will enhance the depth and credibility of the points you make.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly and enhance the flow of your essay. This will help in transitioning between points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete structure to your argument, which is critical for a coherent piece.
task achievement
You've given a nuanced perspective, acknowledging both views and presenting a strong personal opinion, which demonstrates balanced critical thinking.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and logically organized, helping to effectively convey your stance and arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic status
  • wealth inequality
  • infrastructure
  • tech-enhanced learning
  • automate
  • low-skill jobs
  • digital platforms
  • mobile banking
  • financial services
  • e-commerce
  • democratizing
  • marginalized
  • public-private partnerships
  • digital literacy
  • social entrepreneurs
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