IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable, and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Preserving local culture amidst the influx of
tourism
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 poses a significant dilemma, inviting contrasting perspectives on whether banning
tourism
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 in certain
areas
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 is a viable solution or if it should be open as changes will ultimately take place.
This
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 essay will explore both views. In my opinion, restricting
tourism
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 in specific locations is crucial to safeguarding and nurturing the essence of local
cultures
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. On the one hand, proponents argue that change is an inevitable facet of progress and development. They assert that banning
tourism
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in particular
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areas
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 would not halt the evolution of
cultures
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 but merely delay the inevitable.
For instance
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, technological advancements and globalization have significantly altered cultural landscapes worldwide, rendering complete preservation challenging.
Such
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 changes took place even in places like Japan which was close to foreigners for many decades.
Conversely
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, advocates for banning
tourism
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 in select regions emphasize the potential detrimental impact on local
cultures
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due to
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 the commodification and homogenization of traditions. The overwhelming influx of tourists can lead to the exploitation and commercialization of cultural practices, transforming them into mere spectacles for entertainment. The delicate balance between tradition and
tourism
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 can be observed in Bali, where excessive
tourism
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 has significantly impacted the island's cultural integrity, eroding its authenticity. I align with the viewpoint that restricting
tourism
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 in specific
areas
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 is essential to protect and sustain local
cultures
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. Controlled access can ensure that cultural practices and traditions remain authentic and are not overshadowed by the commercial interests of
tourism
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. In conclusion,
while
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 change is inevitable, safeguarding local
cultures
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 from the adverse impacts of mass
tourism
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 remains a paramount concern. Selective limitations on
tourism
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 in certain
areas
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 can serve as a protective shield, preserving the authenticity and richness of indigenous
cultures
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 for future generations.

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language improvement
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examples
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coherence
Ensure that the transition between points is smooth to guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument with a well-defined position.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influx of tourists
  • dilute local customs
  • commercialization
  • loss of native languages
  • economic benefits
  • revenue source
  • responsible tourism
  • cultural sensitivity
  • regulated tourist limits
  • cultural heritage
  • globalization
  • case study
  • ‘High Value, Low Impact’ tourism
  • controlled tourism
  • middle-ground solution
  • infrastructure development
  • significant revenue source
  • employment generation
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