The graph below gives information on the number of participants of different activities at one social centre in Melburne , Australia for the period from 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the number of participants of different activities at one social centre in Melburne , Australia for the period from 2000 to 2020.
Line
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The line
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graph illustrates the
quantity
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number
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of
members
, who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
chose different extracurricular activities at one of the social
center
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centers
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, which is located in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020.
Overall
, the film
club
garnered the highest participation rates among Melbourne residents throughout the
period
. Table tennis and musical performances experienced significant growth in participation towards the later years,
while
amateur dramatics saw a decline in popularity. One of the most popular activities in any
period
of time is Movie
club
, which has never
fall
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fallen
show examples
below 60 participants.
At
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In
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the beginning,
Film
Correct article usage
the Film
show examples
club
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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stood
on
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at
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the highest point of the value (around 60 to 70).
However
, there is dropped
into
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to
show examples
60
club
members
in 2010. After, the
numbers
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number
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of
people
, who are invited to
Movie
Correct article usage
the Movie
show examples
club
, are
Verb problem
apply
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increased and
achieve
Verb problem
reached
show examples
below 70
at the end
of the
period
. At the same time,
Martial
Correct article usage
the Martial
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arts
club
also
has shown
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
fluctuation level on
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
. In 2020,
this
type of action is taken
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
average of the
club
’s
people
number.
At
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In
show examples
the
mid
Correct your spelling
middle
show examples
of the
period
,
indicator
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the indicator
an indicator
show examples
is risen
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rose
show examples
to 40 parties. And again fell down to the same index as at the starting time. In participation
toward to
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apply
show examples
the later years is crucial growth by table tennis and musical
performances
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performance
show examples
clubs. In 2005, and musical performances
club
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
opened and
at the end
of the
20s
Add a comma
20s,
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the total number reached less than 20
members
.
Table
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The table
A table
show examples
tennis
club
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started with less than 20
people
and in 2010
attain
Wrong verb form
attained
show examples
exactly 20 parties,
such
as
amateur
Correct article usage
the amateur
show examples
dramatics
club
.
On the other hand
,
activity
Correct article usage
the activity
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of amateur dramatics, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had participants below
than
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apply
show examples
30 dramatically dropped
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less than 10
people
.
As a result
,
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
club
is
Verb problem
will
show examples
continued
Wrong verb form
continue
show examples
until it
is reached
Wrong verb form
reaches
show examples
more than 50
members
in 2020.
Submitted by galkalialex on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words members, club, period, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

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