Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
The new ways of communication developed by
the
modern technologies have been able to bring Correct article usage
apply
people
closer, however
, some have a
completely different Correct article usage
apply
opinion
.
I am of the opinion Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
of
the new technology is bringing Change preposition
that
population
Correct article usage
the population
closely
.
Replace the word
closer
Firstly
, some people
mention that not every generation is able to use computers or manage to keep up with the latest updates. This
way of thinking sometimes express
that the new phones Correct subject-verb agreement
expresses
such
as smartphones are making a big breach between families as the new generation are
using their Change the verb form
is
phone
obsessively. They do not sit with their family to watch TV or they are not having Fix the agreement mistake
phones
conversation
at dinner time. Different surveys have reported, Add an article
a conversation
the conversation
for example
, that teenagers spent the majority of their leisure time watching Tik-Tok
or Instagram.
Correct your spelling
TikTok
However
, the new technologies are bringing people
together in a way that families can connect even when they life
Replace the word
live
thousand
of miles away. Correct your spelling
thousands
For example
, it was extraordinary how different platforms such
as Zoom or Teams brought relatives together during the Covid pandemic. The population was able to see their relatives when they were at the hospital. These platforms also
helped people
that was feeling lonely at home, to connect with friends or family, helping with their mental health.
In
that time, Change preposition
At
the
humanity came closer because of Correct article usage
apply
the
modern technology, everyone was able to use a smartphone or laptop.
In conclusion, new technology could have a negative effect if it is used uncontrolled but the benefits that it has given until now Correct article usage
apply
such
has
worldwide communication or mental health improvement are Correct your spelling
as
significant
higher.Change the adjective
significantly
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coherence cohesion
It is important to provide more balanced and structured arguments for both sides of the discussion in order to enhance the logical structure of the essay. Try to develop each point more thoroughly and connect them with clear transitions.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the aim of the essay and briefly outlines the points you will discuss. Strengthening the conclusion by summarizing the main points and reinforcing your opinion can also improve coherence.
task achievement
Work on improving the accuracy of your language and grammar. Small errors, such as 'the new generation are using' instead of 'the new generation is using', impact readability.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your arguments. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic from both perspectives, which is a strong approach to task achievement.
task achievement
Your examples, particularly about the use of Zoom and Teams during the Covid pandemic, are relevant and effectively illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring the response fairly well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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