Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of this pressure and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

These days,
children
have to address the
pressure
that comes from academic, social and commercial views, the reason for
this
phenomenon is the schooling
stress
and responsibilities that they have, and one prime solution is to communicate deeply with their parents. Nowadays,
stress
that comes from educational purposes is very common, information has become difficult with the improvements in technology and life, and
children
are very sensitive
hence
, whatever they face
stress
from school they won't be able to deal with it and that's increased the amount of their
Pressure
, a recent study found that more than 70% of
children
pressure
came from not learning how to deal with schooling
stress
. Another point to consider is the accountability that kids have, if they have a lot of responsibilities, that will make them more prone to face pressures , the proportion of the accountability that outweighs the child's age is 60 per cent and that has detrimental effects on their mental health. To reduce
this
problem parents should be aware of
this
phenomenon and deeply communicate with their kids to know their fear and solve it,
however
also
all the adults in the child's environment must be aware and incentives the child from time to time, a recent research concluded that communication can solve 90 per cent of the problem.
To conclude
, there are several reasons why
children
these days face
pressure
from various perspectives, one of them is the
stress
that results from schooling and the other reason is the outweighing responsibilities,
moreover
, if the adults pay attention to
this
problem and try to talk with their kids. They are more likely to avoid it.
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure to make the essay flow more naturally and coherently. Currently, some sentences feel a bit disjointed.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed and supported with relevant examples. This can help to make your arguments more compelling.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and reduce the use of complex sentences that may lead to awkward phrasing or errors.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the content well.
task achievement
You've tackled the topic comprehensively by addressing multiple causes and a solution.
task achievement
The idea of communication with parents is well explained and supported with research, which strengthens your argument.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic expectations
  • Competitive job market
  • Intense study schedules
  • Omnipresence of social media
  • Unrealistic standards
  • Targeted by advertisements
  • Marketing campaigns
  • Material goods
  • Parental expectations
  • Peer pressure
  • Emotional stress
  • Conformity
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Mindfulness and meditation
  • Counseling and support services
  • Balanced lifestyle
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