IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurents between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The charts below how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurents between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
#people #usa #food #restaurents #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevent
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This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast food consumption in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
restaurant
, by the people of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, between the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003 and 2013. It
also
Linking Words
 shows how often people visit these
Use synonyms
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
along with
Linking Words
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
 of the people. As far as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
year
Use synonyms
 2003 is concerned, the
consumers
Fix the agreement mistake
consumer
show examples
 rate of never and everyday visitors in the
Use synonyms
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
restaurant
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
below 5%.
However
Linking Words
, the rate of consuming fast food once in the
week
Use synonyms
 and once/twice a month was at its peak in 2003, which was more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 30% and up to 25%. Only 20%
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 used to eat in
Use synonyms
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 serval
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 a
week
Use synonyms
,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 15%
residents
Change preposition
of residents
show examples
 were recorded in the block of eating,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 times a
year
Use synonyms
 in hotels. Commencing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
year
Use synonyms
 2013,
near to
Correct your spelling
nearly
show examples
 35%
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 cafes , once/ twice a month and more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 25% public
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
noticed, once a
week
Use synonyms
, which was relatively the highest number in that particular
year
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, individuals visiting serval
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 a
week
Use synonyms
 and fewer
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 a
year
Use synonyms
 were around 15%.
Also
Linking Words
, every day and never
attenders
Correct your spelling
attendees
show examples
 were less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 5%.
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words resturants, year, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food consumption
  • decade
  • trend analysis
  • frequently, occasionally, and rarely
  • significant changes
  • lifestyle modifications
  • health awareness
  • economic factors
  • public health implications
  • fast food industry
  • broader implications
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