The charts below how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurents between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The charts below how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurents between 2003 and 2013.

                                                                                       Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
This
line graph illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast food consumption in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
restaurant
, by the people of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2003 and 2013. It
also
shows how often people visit these
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
along with
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
show examples
of the people. As far as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
year
2003 is concerned, the
consumers
Fix the agreement mistake
consumer
show examples
rate of never and everyday visitors in the
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
restaurant
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
below 5%.
However
, the rate of consuming fast food once in the
week
and once/twice a month was at its peak in 2003, which was more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
30% and up to 25%. Only 20%
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
used to eat in
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
serval
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
a
week
,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
15%
residents
Change preposition
of residents
show examples
were recorded in the block of eating,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
times a
year
in hotels. Commencing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
year
2013,
near to
Correct your spelling
nearly
show examples
35%
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
cafes , once/ twice a month and more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
25% public
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
noticed, once a
week
, which was relatively the highest number in that particular
year
.
Furthermore
, individuals visiting serval
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
a
week
and fewer
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
a
year
were around 15%.
Also
, every day and never
attenders
Correct your spelling
attendees
show examples
were less
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
5%.
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words resturants, year, week with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food consumption
  • decade
  • trend analysis
  • frequently, occasionally, and rarely
  • significant changes
  • lifestyle modifications
  • health awareness
  • economic factors
  • public health implications
  • fast food industry
  • broader implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: