IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With a fast pace of modern life, more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meal. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

#pace #life #people #food #advantage
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Undoubtedly, in the contemporary world, life is getting faster and faster.
As a result
, many people decide to switch to fast
food
 rather than cook at home.
Such
 a choice has both pros and cons. Frequent eating of fast
food
 can have many significant drawbacks. First and foremost, it can lead to obesity. As widely known, flash
food
 is definitely not the healthiest one, since it contains a lot of fat and sugar, which in large amounts can have a negative impact on our health and
overall
 well-being.
Furthermore
, eating in the city is more expensive than cooking at home. Despite
such
 a kind of
food
 allowing you to save some time, not only does it contribute to a higher probability of being overwhelmed, but
also
 prevents you from saving money, which constitutes another relevant weakness.
On the other hand
, flash
food
 may
also
 possess some benefits. The most significant of them is the fact that it allows you to save some time. Cooking at home,
although
 healthier and cheaper is very time-consuming, as everything you eat you have to prepare with your own hands,
thus
, if you eat in the city, you can spend
evening
Add an article
the evening
an evening
show examples
 doing things you like.
In addition
, not everyone is keen on cooking. It means that there are plenty of people who do not feel comfortable in the kitchen preparing meals,
therefore
, in
such
 cases, flash
food
 is a great way to avoid cooking. In conclusion, in my opinion, the advantages of eating fast
food
 do not outweigh the disadvantages.
Although
such
 a kind of meal allows you to save time and get rid of cooking, it has a negative influence on your health and savings, which I believe is more important.
Submitted by kuba.glogowski on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider offering more balanced perspectives by extending the argument in favor of fast food, for example, mentioning convenience for busy professionals or students.
task achievement
Ensure consistent terminology is used throughout. For instance, 'flash food' should be corrected to 'fast food.'
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the introduction by providing a broader context for the trend towards fast food consumption.
coherence cohesion
Use clear and varied transitions between points to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Extend the conclusion to not only summarize the points made but also to perhaps suggest alternatives or solutions to the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Both the advantages and disadvantages of fast food consumption are explored, providing a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: