Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

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Some people argue that

children

Use synonyms

should be taught by their

parents

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Change preposition

apply

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how to become valuable members of society. Others suggest that

schools

Use synonyms

are the most appropriate place for learning

this

Linking Words

While

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

can educate their

children

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with their own experiences, I believe

schools

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provide a more practical way of learning

this

Linking Words

. Mothers and fathers use their own experiences to teach their sons and daughters how to grow up

moral

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morally

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and

ethical

Change the word

ethically

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Parents

Use synonyms

can teach their

children

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how to be empathetic, respectful towards other people, and

Correct article usage

apply

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responsible person because they know how their

children

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react to certain situations. By observing these,

parents

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can guide their sons and daughters better.

For example

Linking Words

, when

children

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are allowed to take care of a family pet, they learn that their actions directly impact the life of another living being.

However

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, I believe that

children

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may grow up having a myopic view because of their

parents

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’ teachings. Universities and education centres provide an environment where students can learn how to behave in a more structured way. Often, primary

schools

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’

curriculum

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curricula

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have projects that require group participation,

such

Linking Words

a setting equips

children

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from an early age to understand other’s

point

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points

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of view and act

accordingly

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, nurturing an important character trait, teamwork.

For instance

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, the St. Xavier’s School in Kolkata, India has a mandatory community service program where

children

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visit the city’s orphanages to donate their old study books.

Therefore

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, I am of the opinion that

schools

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provide

children

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with an atmosphere to learn essential skills to become valuable members of society. In conclusion,

parents

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know their

children

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better and can instil a sense of responsibility but they can create a bias in their child’s mind.

Schools

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and universities,

on the other hand

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, have special practical programs that are designed to help young students become ethical and moral when they grow up.

majumdarnilesh21Fri Sep 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitive phrases to maintain reader interest. For example, the points about parents teaching empathy and responsibility could be integrated more smoothly with less repetition.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the transitional phrases between paragraphs to maintain a smooth flow. Consider using however, furthermore, and consequently where appropriate.

task achievement

Provide additional examples to support main points. This can provide a clearer understanding and stronger justification for your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The introduction is well-structured, clearly stating the two opposing views and your position.

task achievement

You effectively cover the idea that both parents and schools have roles in teaching societal values, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The example of St. Xavier’s School is well-chosen and effectively illustrates how schools can teach children to be valuable members of society.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

Your opinion

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays anyone can post news on the internet. As a result, we cannot trust information we read there. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems

Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.