Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this.

Some people argue that
children
should be taught by their
parents
on
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apply
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how to become valuable members of society. Others suggest that
schools
are the most appropriate place for learning
this
.
While
parents
can educate their
children
with their own experiences, I believe
schools
provide a more practical way of learning
this
. Mothers and fathers use their own experiences to teach their sons and daughters how to grow up
moral
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morally
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and
ethical
Change the word
ethically
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.
Parents
can teach their
children
how to be empathetic, respectful towards other people, and
a
Correct article usage
apply
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responsible person because they know how their
children
react to certain situations. By observing these,
parents
can guide their sons and daughters better.
For example
, when
children
are allowed to take care of a family pet, they learn that their actions directly impact the life of another living being.
However
, I believe that
children
may grow up having a myopic view because of their
parents
’ teachings. Universities and education centres provide an environment where students can learn how to behave in a more structured way. Often, primary
schools
curriculum
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curricula
show examples
have projects that require group participation,
such
a setting equips
children
from an early age to understand other’s
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of view and act
accordingly
, nurturing an important character trait, teamwork.
For instance
, the St. Xavier’s School in Kolkata, India has a mandatory community service program where
children
visit the city’s orphanages to donate their old study books.
Therefore
, I am of the opinion that
schools
provide
children
with an atmosphere to learn essential skills to become valuable members of society. In conclusion,
parents
know their
children
better and can instil a sense of responsibility but they can create a bias in their child’s mind.
Schools
and universities,
on the other hand
, have special practical programs that are designed to help young students become ethical and moral when they grow up.
Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on

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coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases to maintain reader interest. For example, the points about parents teaching empathy and responsibility could be integrated more smoothly with less repetition.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the transitional phrases between paragraphs to maintain a smooth flow. Consider using however, furthermore, and consequently where appropriate.
task achievement
Provide additional examples to support main points. This can provide a clearer understanding and stronger justification for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is well-structured, clearly stating the two opposing views and your position.
task achievement
You effectively cover the idea that both parents and schools have roles in teaching societal values, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The example of St. Xavier’s School is well-chosen and effectively illustrates how schools can teach children to be valuable members of society.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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