Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.
A certain number of citizens consider that being competitive at
a
workplace, at school or in their daily routines is highly beneficial. Meanwhile, Correct article usage
the
others
would prefer
cooperate with Add the particle
prefer to
others
more rather than compete with them. In this
essay, I will outline these two ways of thinking along with
my own point of view.
Those who belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
the
competition amongst Correct article usage
apply
people
has more pros in comparison to the
interactionCorrect article usage
apply
,
argue that Remove the comma
apply
this
is the most effective approach which leads to success. As they think, being competitive means not to be
distracted by Change the verb form
being
others
, and concentrate
all Wrong verb form
concentrating
the
strength on their own goals which, in turn, will lead them to the highest results. Change the word
their
For example
, some people
follow this
strategy in order to show their achievements to employers impressing them and getting a higher position. As a result
, they might get a
desirable Correct article usage
apply
work
. However
, there will no, probably,be willing ones to land them a hand or to work
with them, as a consequence
of their selfish attitude.This
is the reason why I do not support competitors.
With regard to the
Correct article usage
apply
others
, we should interact more as collaboration of people
makes daily life
much easier, and it is an integral part of successful studies or work
. It empowers people
’s lives via sharing life
or work
experience, as well as
knowledge during a studying process. For example
, students at universities quite often exchange educational materials with each other or help their peers with a
difficult material. Remove the article
apply
Therefore
, such
a way of life
speed
up the carrying out of the majority of tasks on the Correct subject-verb agreement
speeds
life
path of each individual, protecting them from overload,
and providing them with Remove the comma
apply
a sustainable lives
. Personally, I Correct the article-noun agreement
a sustainable life
sustainable lives
also
share this
view, because the help of people
surrounding us is extremely vital in many cases. For instance
, if employers unit employees in one team, it may reduce the time for completing tasks, and provide workers with more time for rest.
In conclusion, I believe that we have to cooperate more rather than compete with other members of society, as this
approach helps to make people
’s daily life
, studying and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
work
more enjoyable and successful .Submitted by halynasmyk953 on
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task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion on the topic by representing both viewpoints and including your perspective. However, there are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that you should work on. Try to refine your sentences for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve overall cohesion. You might want to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally well-supported with examples, but try to make your examples more relevant and specific to strengthen your arguments. This will help to illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and a strong conclusion, which effectively summarizes your point of view.
task achievement
You have done well by presenting both sides of the argument, in line with the requirements of the task.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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