IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart gives the top eight online activitiies in slovakia in a given month.

The bar chart gives the top eight online activitiies in slovakia in a given month.
#bar #eight #activitiies #slovakia #month
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The graph shows the eight top online activities in Slovakia in the
mention
Change the verb form
mentioned
show examples
 month.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are eight online activities used by
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and women, but women
use
Use synonyms
 the most. percentage in all of them. The three most
Use synonyms
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 are
Email
Use synonyms
, texting or
instant
Use synonyms
 messages and social networking.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the most
Use synonyms
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 for men are
email
Use synonyms
,
instant
Use synonyms
 messaging and internet banking. The rest of
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
them
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 like streaming, job hunting, health research and online education
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the least
Use synonyms
use
Replace the word
used
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 by both genders. Women are the biggest users
on using
Verb problem
of
show examples
email
Use synonyms
 with over 80 per
cent
Use synonyms
, and the second one was
instant
Use synonyms
 messaging with less than 90 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the third one is social networking and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 with less than 80 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, streaming and health research with less than 60 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The least
Use synonyms
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 is job hunting
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and online education with less than 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Men are the second most users
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
email
Use synonyms
 and
instant
Use synonyms
 messaging with less than 90 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, internet banking and social networking, and the third place is with health research and streaming with less than 60 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the least used by men is online education with over 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this, following this".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words use, email, instant, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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