Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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It goes without saying that nowadays

phones

are widely used by many people, including children, frequently on

the

Correct article usage

show examples

daily basis.

This

essay will put forward the reason why

this

trend

brings

Verb problem

has

show examples

utterly negative impacts.

To begin

with, the frequent

user

Correct your spelling

use

show examples

of mobile

phones

is a result of appealing

interface

Fix the agreement mistake

interfaces

show examples

and designs.

This

acts as

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apply

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dopamine to its users, and the kids are susceptible to it like how they are addicted to sugar or sweets.

Thus

, the enjoyment offered by the

phones

makes them attracted to be persistent

Correct your spelling

show examples

using

phones

Furthermore

due to

the addiction, the kids may experience various health issues.

For instance

, neck strain problem is commonly faced by

the

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apply

show examples

phone users especially the young generation which may lead them to bad body posture. Another example is when they use

phones

without

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apply

show examples

good rest and bad lighting, their eyesight will get damaged.

In addition

, since the children spend more on

phones

. They unconsciously isolate their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

from social interactions. It

is resulting

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results

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in poor interpersonal skills.

Consequently

, they will struggle to communicate or to get engaged

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show examples

others' conversations in the future. In conclusion, the constant utility of

phones

the

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apply

show examples

children has overwhelmingly negative influences. Even if there were possible benefits, they would be apparently outweighed by the drawbacks.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sat Sep 28 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the task effectively, discussing both the reasons children spend hours on their smartphones and evaluating this trend as negative. However, to achieve a higher score, it could benefit from more specific examples to support the arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured, but some points could be elaborated further for clarity. Adding transitional phrases could improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.

task achievement

The main points presented are relevant and address the prompt directly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

214 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

In modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with other people through internet. But others against it. Do you think this is positive trend or negative trend.

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?