IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments prioritize economic
progress
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 as their most important goal, believing that a strong economy ensures prosperity, job creation, and improved living standards.
However
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, some people argue that other types of
progress
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,
such
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 as social, environmental, and cultural
development
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, are equally important for a country’s
overall
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 well-being.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and present my own opinion. On the one hand, governments often focus on economic
progress
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 because it serves as the foundation for national
development
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. A strong economy allows countries to generate revenue, invest in infrastructure, and provide essential services
such
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 as education, healthcare, and social security. Economic growth leads to higher employment rates, increased standards of living, and the ability to compete on a global scale.
For instance
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, countries like China and the United States have focused on economic
development
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 to maintain their positions as global powers, resulting in significant improvements in the quality of life for their citizens. Economic
progress
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,
therefore
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, is viewed as a means to ensure long-term prosperity and national strength.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that economic
progress
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 alone is not sufficient for a country’s
development
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 and that other forms of
progress
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,
such
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 as social, environmental, and cultural advancements, are equally important. Social
progress
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, which includes reducing inequality, improving healthcare, and ensuring access to quality education, contributes to a fair and just society. Environmental
progress
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 is crucial to ensuring the sustainability of natural resources and addressing global issues like climate change.
For example
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, Scandinavian countries like Sweden and Denmark have prioritized social welfare and environmental sustainability, which has led to high levels of happiness and
overall
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 well-being, even if their economies are not the largest in the world. Cultural
development
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, which involves preserving heritage and promoting creativity,
also
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 enhances a country’s identity and contributes to a vibrant society. In my opinion,
while
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 economic
progress
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 is undeniably important, other forms of
progress
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 should not be overlooked. Economic growth should be balanced with social equality, environmental protection, and cultural enrichment to create a well-rounded and sustainable society. Economic
progress
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 should serve as a tool to facilitate broader
development
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 in these areas, ensuring that all citizens benefit from growth and that future generations can thrive. In conclusion,
while
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 governments may focus on economic
progress
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 to ensure national strength and prosperity, other forms of
progress
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 are equally essential. A balanced approach that prioritizes economic, social, environmental, and cultural
development
Use synonyms
 will lead to a more sustainable and inclusive future for all.

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task achievement
Your essay comprehensively addresses the task, providing a balanced discussion on both views and a clear personal opinion. To aim for a higher score, you might consider integrating more specific examples and data to bolster your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with clear and effective transitions between paragraphs. For further improvement, make sure to integrate more varied connectors and cohesive devices to enhance the fluidity of your writing.
task achievement
You have provided a well-balanced discussion on both viewpoints, and your personal opinion is clearly presented and justified.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, framing the essay in a coherent manner. Your main points are well-supported throughout the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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