IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

7. You're working overseas in an international company. You are leaving the country in emergency. Write a letter to your friends explaining the situation. In the letter, you should - apologise for leaving like this - explain what happened - tell them what you're going to miss about working with them

#re #company #country #emergency #friends #situation #apologise
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Dear Peter, It'd been a
year
 since we worked together. Time flies when you're having fun, right? Unfortunately, I had to leave the country yesterday in an emergency situation. I would like to express my sincere apologies for
such
 an abrupt departure, considering my visa is about to expire
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the term of my labour contract is about to
be ended
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
 by the end of
this
 month. As you already know, I had a limited work permit paper and I came to Australia
last
year
 looking for a new opportunity in my career path. I was very lucky to be accepted by your company and
last
year
 taught me a lot about engineering and the international environment. On the
last
 month of the contract, the company had offered me an extension of the contract,
however
, I'd make up my mind as I'd been away from home for too long.
This
 decision will help me reunite with my family
as well as
 open up new opportunities for me in the future. I
am truly cherish
Change the verb form
truly cherish
show examples
 all the moments when we worked together,
as well as
 all
experiences
Correct article usage
the experiences
show examples
 and knowledge
you'd been
Wrong verb form
you've
show examples
 shared with me over the
last
year
. In the end, I learnt a lot from your company
as well as
 the culture of the people in Australia. I hope that we can still stay in touch and hope our future paths will cross again. Best wishes, Ben
Submitted by xbinh91 on

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coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical and stylistic errors which can be improved for clearer communication.
coherence cohesion
Organize paragraphs more clearly to ensure each one represents a single idea.
task achievement
You have addressed all aspects of the task effectively.
task achievement
Your writing tone is appropriate and polite for the situation.
coherence cohesion
You used a good greeting and closing to frame your letter professionally.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sincere apologies
  • abrupt departure
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • urgent matter
  • unanticipated situation
  • disheartening
  • cherished moments
  • collegial atmosphere
  • professional cooperation
  • stay in touch
  • fond memories
  • future endeavors
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