Some people think that competition at work at school and in a daily life is a good thing.Others believe that we should try to cooperate more rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

Competation

Correct your spelling

Competition

in the sphere of

work

and education can be invaluable

Correct word choice

when

show examples

working with a group of

people

Although

there are both positive and negative aspects of working as a team I firmly believe

competation

Correct your spelling

competition

can maintain peoples' weak sides

while

working with

contrary

Add an article

a contrary

the contrary

show examples

person. In daily life, competition can encourage individuals to improve their skills and make the most of their

opportunitie

Correct your spelling

opportunities

opportunity

Correct word choice

People

show examples

people

who are better in some spheres may encourage their enemies which leads to

improve

Change the verb form

improving

show examples

some of their skills.Competition can motivate students to achieve

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

higher academic standards and develop a strong

work

atmosphere.

However

,it may

also

cause some problems

releated

Correct your spelling

to individuals'

pschology

Correct your spelling

psychology

While

working on their weak sides most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

may not cope successfully which leads

stressful

Change preposition

to stressful

show examples

consequences,

such

as stress and anxiety.

As a result

,It may reduce self-confidence and self-esteem

amoung

Correct your spelling

among

people

. Collaboration at

work

education

Change preposition

in education

show examples

may lead to a more friendly

work

environment

amoung

Correct your spelling

among

people

While

working together they can share their own experiences,

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

and perspectives on the purpose of achieving common results.

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

,they will support their colleagues and

fullfil

Correct your spelling

fulfil

their ideas.

On the other hand

,it will be difficult to take into account personal dreams and get

promotion

Add an article

a promotion

the promotion

show examples

.When

people

work

with a team,there will be a lack of time for themselves.

Consequently

,cooperation may limit their individual intentions in the sphere of

work

and education. In conclusion,

while

competation

Correct your spelling

competition

computation

helps to

achiave

Correct your spelling

achieve

results with full potential,

collaboration

Add an article

the collaboration

show examples

will not give

Correct pronoun usage

them a

show examples

chance to

work

on their personal

ambitous

Correct your spelling

ambitions

ambitious

which leads to

restrict

Change the verb form

restricting

show examples

their

work-releated

Correct your spelling

work-related

destinations.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sat Sep 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will make your arguments more compelling and easy to follow.

task achievement

Develop main points with more specific examples and elaboration. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on clarity by simplifying complex sentences and ensuring correct word usage. This will make your ideas easier to understand.

task achievement

Good attempt at addressing both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

243 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?
It is argued that in certain nations youth are not using their right to vote. This would hinder the political change, and it would also result in policies made that are not beneficial for these young people. The most viable solutions would be to create awareness among the younger generation and promote them to participate in politics.
4
band
In some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.
Labor market changes every day, the world progress does not stay at the same point. Some jobs are getting more popular, meanwhile others gradually disappearing. That is why market economy has significant gap between different subject specialists. Some people consider that it is great that professionals have high salaries, while others reckon that government need to control this field and cope with enormous salaries.
4.5
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In art lessons, painting and drawing are as vital to a kid's development as other subjects, so it need to become a necessary subject in high schools. From my perspective, I both agree and disagree with those ideas and will tell the reason why.
4
band
In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?
These dayes, it becomes easy to doing anything through the internet even studing or making a busniness without any efforts.It has advanteges and disadvanteges.I will discuss this in detail in my essay below.
7
band
Climate change is one of the biggest environmental problems of the 21st century. Some people think that humans should stop using oil, gas and coal and switch to alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others claim that fossil fuels are essential for many industries, and not using them will result in economic recession.
Some people argue that fossil fuels are essential for economic development even though they are highly polluting, while others believe that alternative sources of energy should completely replace oil, coal and natural gas. In my opinion, it is time to adopt cleaner fuels in the interest of the whole world.

Some people think that competition at work at school and in a daily life is a good thing.Others believe that we should try to cooperate more rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

In some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?