Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case

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In contemporary times, the number of individuals who want to be self-employed

instead

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of hiring in a company has been increasing.

This

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essay will discuss the probable reasons like being independent

also

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the drawbacks of

this

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approach.

To begin

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with, the young generation has been always willing for independence.

Therefore

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, they want to be their own boss

instead

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of working for other

people

Use synonyms

. They hate obeying orders because they are creative and if they are free, they will be able to be innovative.

For example

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, my brother decided to start his own

business

Use synonyms

after college and he became so successful

due to

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the fact that he was completely free to experience new ideas.

Moreover

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, individuals usually think that they won't earn enough money if they keep working for others.

Nevertheless

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, they are encouraged to run their own

business

Use synonyms

as soon as possible.

However

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, there are plenty of possible drawbacks in

this

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case. The most significant disadvantage is lack of experience.

People

Use synonyms

who don’t have any job experience are not capable of running a new company or office because they need some training first which can achieve by working as a trainee in other companies.

Besides

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, becoming self-employed is usually not affordable for most individuals

due to

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the fact that you may need a huge fortune at the beginning.

For example

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last

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year I wanted to start a new

business

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and I had to get a loan from the bank and it was very difficult to pay for the bank

installment

Change the spelling

instalment

show examples

Although

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, there are bunches of obstacles in the way, being self-employed can give

people

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self-confidence and encourage them to be brave and fearless.

However

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, it can be risky and challenging at the same time. In conclusion, I believe nowadays

people

Use synonyms

intend to start their own

business

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more than before to have more autonomy and

also

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make more money.

However

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, there are always some risks and drawbacks, no matter how much they are brave and self-confident.

Submitted by mahtaesmailian on Sat Sep 28 2024

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task achievement

Try to develop each paragraph with more supporting details or examples to make your argument stronger. For example, provide more examples of successful self-employed individuals or present more statistics to strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the essay follows a more logical sequence. While the reasoning is clear, enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs and sentences would improve the overall cohesion. For instance, linking sentences or ideas more explicitly can provide a smoother reading experience.

task achievement

The essay presents clear and relevant ideas, discussing both reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

The examples used in the essay are relevant and help to illustrate the main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-employment
freelancing
entrepreneurship
autonomy
financial stability
work-life balance
financial insecurity
lack of support
resources
long working hours
uncertain income
job security

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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

some people believe the best way to tackle pollution is by paying tax others disagree. discuss both views and state your opinion

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?