Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case

In contemporary times, the number of individuals who want to be self-employed

instead

of hiring in a company has been increasing.

This

essay will discuss the probable reasons like being independent

also

the drawbacks of

this

approach.

To begin

with, the young generation has been always willing for independence.

Therefore

, they want to be their own boss

instead

of working for other

people

. They hate obeying orders because they are creative and if they are free, they will be able to be innovative.

For example

, my brother decided to start his own

business

after college and he became so successful

due to

the fact that he was completely free to experience new ideas.

Moreover

, individuals usually think that they won't earn enough money if they keep working for others.

Nevertheless

, they are encouraged to run their own

business

as soon as possible.

However

, there are plenty of possible drawbacks in

this

case. The most significant disadvantage is lack of experience.

People

who don’t have any job experience are not capable of running a new company or office because they need some training first which can achieve by working as a trainee in other companies.

Besides

, becoming self-employed is usually not affordable for most individuals

due to

the fact that you may need a huge fortune at the beginning.

For example

last

year I wanted to start a new

business

and I had to get a loan from the bank and it was very difficult to pay for the bank

installment

Change the spelling

instalment

show examples

Although

, there are bunches of obstacles in the way, being self-employed can give

people

self-confidence and encourage them to be brave and fearless.

However

, it can be risky and challenging at the same time. In conclusion, I believe nowadays

people

intend to start their own

business

more than before to have more autonomy and

also

make more money.

However

, there are always some risks and drawbacks, no matter how much they are brave and self-confident.

Submitted by mahtaesmailian on Sat Sep 28 2024

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task achievement

Try to develop each paragraph with more supporting details or examples to make your argument stronger. For example, provide more examples of successful self-employed individuals or present more statistics to strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the essay follows a more logical sequence. While the reasoning is clear, enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs and sentences would improve the overall cohesion. For instance, linking sentences or ideas more explicitly can provide a smoother reading experience.

task achievement

The essay presents clear and relevant ideas, discussing both reasons for self-employment and its disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

The examples used in the essay are relevant and help to illustrate the main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

325 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-employment
freelancing
entrepreneurship
autonomy
financial stability
work-life balance
financial insecurity
lack of support
resources
long working hours
uncertain income
job security

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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that newspapers are the best way to read the news. others, however, think that websites are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that lessons on becoming a good parent should be included in school curriculum. Others think that it is not essential for students. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment, people must use less energy in their daily lives. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual action? What could be done to encourage them to take action?