IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows information about the challenges people face when they go to live in other countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #challenges #people #face #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar graph gives information on the number of situations that people who live in different countries meet including Learning the local language, finding somewhere to live and making friends. The data
examine
Wrong verb form
are examined
show examples
 by
age
ranges
Correct subject-verb agreement
range
show examples
 separation and the units are measured in
percentage
. Generally speaking, it is evident that young
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 in
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
 18 to 34
years
 old faced the problem the most by plateaued
percentage
,
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
 range is 35 to 54, and the olds that
age
 over
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
55
years
 old is the lowest respectively. First and foremost, it is noticeable that
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the issue of Learning the local language was the most
concerned
Replace the word
concern
show examples
 by the
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
age
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
higher
Correct word choice
older
show examples
 than 55
years
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
54%, for middle-
age
-persons got effect 35%, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only 29%.
However
,
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 two problems, finding somewhere to live and making friends were caused to the youngest group
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
40% and 46% successively. Notwithstanding, for 35 to 54 group
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
met
these problem
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
39% for sourcing the
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 and 36% for finding new
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
. The
last
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
 of eldest persons
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
faced 22%
home
Change preposition
of home
show examples
 finding and 23% of making friends,
cuased
Correct your spelling
caused
 the total
percentage
 of individuals whose
age
 over than 55
years
 had the lowest issues
percentage
.
Submitted by juneyjelly58 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, percentage, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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What to do next:
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