Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Animals
far beyond human existence have lived on earth. However
, most of the fauna that have been on this
planet does not exist anymore. What is inevitable is that the effect of man in this
disaster is not ignorable. Years of exploiting the
nature and Correct article usage
apply
destruction of
it Replace the word
destroying
has
led to the extinction of many Change the verb form
have
of
animal species. In Change preposition
apply
this
I will discuss the causes of what has happened to these animals
and I will also
recommend some measures to tackle this
problem and prevent it from development.
Right off the bat, it is crystal clear that climatory changes
is one of the most important causes. Fix the agreement mistake
change
For instance
, as temperature rises, many animals
that are accustomed to a certain level of temperature, suddenly find their place inhabitable. This
forces them out
to find another place. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
it is our duty to decrease the effects of human activities on environment
. Add an article
the environment
This
can be done by alternating the current means of energy producing
in order to eliminate one of the factors that Replace the word
production
plays
its role in global warming.
Other than that, another man-made cause of extinction is destroying animal habitats. For many years mankind has abused nature for its own greed. Change the verb form
play
This
have
appeared in many different forms Change the verb form
has
such
as logging for purpose
of timber producing or paper manufacturing, excavating mountains and valleys for mining and destroying lands to construct roads and residential areas Correct article usage
the purpose
on
Change preposition
apply
it
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
As a result
, in order to take precautions for further
destructions
governments can carry out Fix the agreement mistake
destruction
legislations
that bans the human activities that Fix the agreement mistake
legislation
has
a role in Change the verb form
have
this
eradication of animal habitats.
To conclude
, it is evident that man’s self-important attitude toward animals
has caused many troubles for animals
some of them has
led to Correct subject-verb agreement
have
destruction
of their habitats. Add an article
the destruction
However
it is not late for Add a comma
However,
human
. We can stop our destructive activities and make a better and cleaner world for us and for the generations to come.Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific species that have gone extinct due to climate change or habitat destruction.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Adding transitional sentences can help guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Refine your sentence structures to avoid occasional grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'climatory changes' should be 'climatic changes' and 'place inhabitable' should be 'place uninhabitable.'
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt effectively by discussing both the reasons for animal extinction and suggesting solutions.
coherence cohesion
The main points are relevant and logical, such as the discussion on climate change and habitat destruction.