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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that it is important to dress well, according to the latest fashion & trends. Whilst some believe that it is a person’s choice as per their comfort and ease. Do you agree or disagree give your opinion.

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Some individuals believe that it is crucial to
dress
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 in the latest
fashion
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 and mode style,
while
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 others argue that wearing a casual and comfortable
dress
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 is preferable. I strongly believe that people should
dress
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 as comfortable as they can. First of all, wearing a comfy
dress
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 not only brings a profound sense of ease but can
also
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 lead to significant benefits
such
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 as improving the development of their personalities.
In other words
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, when people
dress
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 in their personal choices, it can yield the improvement of their personal growth.
As a result
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, purchasing and wearing chosen clothes can incredibly help people especially the younger generation to improve and build their personalities. Consider a boy teenager as an example, if he makes strongly an effort to choose his clothes
such
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 as T-shirts or jeans by himself,
this
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 approach can significantly lead to building his both self-confidence and personal growth as a whole.
On the other hand
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, following the latest
fashion
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 and trends can lead to negative consequences
such
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 as squandering money. So, the more interested in
fashion
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, the more amount of money individuals should pay.
For instance
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, consider a young girl, who has encountered difficulty in meeting her needs, and is
also
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 so interested in following the latest
fashion
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such
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 as a nice glamorous grown,
as a result
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, she might get in debt
due to
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 following her taste. In conclusion,
although
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 there are different views in terms of dressing and
fashion
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, I strongly would argue that dressing in a comfy style can contribute to both building self-confidence and a strong sense of relaxation as a whole.

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task achievement
Work on providing more diverse examples to support your points. This can help in strengthening your arguments by illustrating broader perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next with the use of linking words and phrases. This will enhance the cohesiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives of the argument, providing a balanced view before expressing your own opinion.
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