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Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The picture
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the number of global
pineapple
Use synonyms
 exports from the top three
pineapple
Use synonyms
-producing countries in 2009 and 2019,
along with
Linking Words
 a detailed analysis of the consumer
cost
Use synonyms
 per
pineapple
Use synonyms
 in 2019. Based on the data, it could be seen that compared to the other countries,
country
Use synonyms
 B placed first as the
country
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 exported the most
pineapple
Use synonyms
, with more than 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 metric tonnes in 2009.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 C exported the least with only less than 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 metric tonnes in the same year and
country
Use synonyms
 A placed in second with number slightly higher than
country
Use synonyms
 C.
However
Linking Words
, in 2019,
this
Linking Words
 situation changed
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 A surpassed the other two countries by exporting almost 12
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 metric tonnes of pineapples.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
Country
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 B placed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
second because they had a sharp
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 in their export and
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
country
Capitalize word
Country
show examples
 C had a slight increase, they still
place
Wrong verb form
placed
show examples
 third.
Also
Linking Words
, in 2019, distribution and retail had taken 35% of the consumer
cost
Use synonyms
 per
pineapple
Use synonyms
. Taxes, profit, international transport and import licenses
were
Change the verb form
were also almost taken
show examples
also
Linking Words
 almost took much from the
cost
Use synonyms
. Only producer and export costs were
ones
Correct article usage
the ones
show examples
 that
cost
Use synonyms
 a little with only 5% and 4% respectively. In overview, in 2009
country
Use synonyms
 B placed first as
Use synonyms
pineapple
Correct article usage
a pineapple
show examples
 exporter.
However
Linking Words
, it is
country
Use synonyms
 A who placed first
also
Linking Words
 it was distribution and retail that
cost
Use synonyms
 the consumer most in 2019.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pineapple, cost, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charts
  • world pineapple exports
  • top three producing countries
  • 2009
  • 2019
  • breakdown
  • cost to the consumer
  • main features
  • comparison
  • relevant
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