IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say it is better to work with big companies rather than small ones. Do you agree or disagree

#people #work #companies #ones
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Due to
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 a growing number of companies in different fields with varied range
reputation
Fix the agreement mistake
reputations
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 and
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
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, a significant demand for new employees is being seen in advertisement platforms every day. Undeniably, Many people think that working for bigger companies is better
to compare
Change the verb form
compared
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 with smaller ones. From my point of view,
this
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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is absolutely true for myriad reasons. Namely, higher job security and development opportunities. Notably, to assess
first,
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job security is inevitably higher in larger companies. The reason behind
this
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 is, that
besides
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 insurance rules, the larger the corporations, the more varied the positions.
For instance
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, I have been in
such
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 a big corporation that has a policy that upon interviewing and signing a contract, they first lead you to work for them in an experimental period to see if you fit in a particular position, and even if you don't
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 unless anything seriously unprofessional happens , they usually secure you with another suitable place in their wide hierarchy of workers. Comparatively, career development chances are not mainly provided in small associations as there are in bigger enterprises.
This
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 can be
due to
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 their stronger networks and experiences with well-reputed leading names in a particular field.
For example
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, take the Paris Eye modelling agency which has been running for almost 100 years ,and has worked with numerous well-known brands worldwide. Unbelievably, It is reported that they have got more than 70 professional trainers only to teach cat walking to younger models. Inexorably, a young model would benefit from a wider range of skills and will have more opportunities to be seen in the future on these platforms. To wrap up everything
that is
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 discussed, I agree that employment in larger-scale organisations is superior to the smaller ones for two major reasons ,better job security and stronger opportunities to get enhanced
Submitted by nargesamin0 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer distinction between the reasons supporting your position. Consider using more distinct topic sentences for each paragraph.
Task Response
Ensure that each main idea is developed evenly and with equal weight to avoid one point overshadowing others.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize your argument.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples that strengthen your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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