You recently bought a piece of equipment and when it arrived it was damaged. Wrote a letter to the manger of the company

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
letter, to register my complaint against the monitor I have purchased from your store. I visited your store
last
Linking Words
weekend, and on the suggestions I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
purchased
this
Linking Words
Del monitor. It was working
perfexlctly
Correct your spelling
perfectly
for a day but
then
Linking Words
it
stars
Verb problem
started
show examples
to freeze and shut off. Sometimes, it works well.but
rjen
Correct your spelling
then
.suddenly shows
Correct your spelling
this
rhis
Change the capitalization
Rhis
show examples
issue Cause of
this
Linking Words
issue
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
lost the whole unsaved
oresentation
Correct your spelling
presentation
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
had been preparing
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
a month.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I really want you to replace my product with
Lenovo
Correct article usage
a Lenovo
show examples
Monitor, I think that would be more suitable for me.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would request you to please update the product information so that in future no one will face the same problem as I have faced. I am looking forward to your positive reply. Yours Sincerely,
Submitted by asr.rajni2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure the presentation of ideas is logical and that all sentences connect smoothly. Try to avoid abrupt endings to sentences and ensure all ideas flow seamlessly from one to the next.
task achievement
Double-check for correct spelling and grammar. Small mistakes like 'stars' instead of 'starts', or 'rjen' instead of 'then' can detract from the overall clarity of your letter.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples or reasons to support your request for a replacement. Detailing exactly what makes the Lenovo monitor more suitable for you would add strength to your argument.
task achievement
The letter clearly states the problem and the desired solution, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and the letter effectively conveys the main issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: