Is teaching people aged 65 or above to use computers a good way to use government money, or is it a waste of time and resources? Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.
A
lot
of countries offer computer
lessons to peolple
over the age of 65 years. Some argue that Correct your spelling
people
this
is useful spent money, while
others think that this
only consumes time and resources without giving any benefits. This
essay will discuss both sides and give my opinion by way of conclusion
.
On the one hand, there are arguments why teaching old Correct article usage
a conclusion
people
how to use
computers is not useful. While
there are some motivated older men and women, there are a lot
older
Change preposition
of older
people
who aren't interested in newer technologies like computers at all and state that there is no necessarity
Correct your spelling
necessity
of using
them during their daily life. As unmotivated ones participating Change preposition
to use
at
Change preposition
in
such
a computer
course would not learn a lot
, it would be a waste of time and money to offer this
possibility.
On the other hand
, there are some thoughts why
it is Change preposition
on why
imoprtant
to teach Correct your spelling
important
people
over 65 in using
a Change preposition
to use
computer
. Nowadays a lot
of daily activities include a certain ability to use
technology, for example
in Switzerland we have to use
kind of a computer
to buy a train or bus ticket. Without any ability of using
newer technologies, old Replace the preposition
to use
people
aren't able to use
public transport anymore, leading to a detrimental in their quality of life.
Although
there are arguments against providing computer
lessons to older people
, as a lot
of them are not motivated to learn how to use
a computer
, in my opinion
it is very important, especially for older Add the comma(s)
opinion,
people
, to stay active and up to date also
with the computer
technology to not loose
the access to important abilities of the daily life.Replace the word
lose
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task achievement
You have addressed both points of view and given your own opinion, which is a strong point. However, the essay would benefit from more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, you can mention specific scenarios where older people might find computers useful.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some paragraphs could be better organized to improve the flow of ideas. For instance, linking sentences could be used more effectively to ensure smooth transitions between points.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and the two viewpoints you will discuss. This sets a clear expectation for the reader.
logical structure
You have provided a balanced discussion by presenting both sides of the argument before giving your own opinion, which demonstrates a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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