A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Oil is predominantly sourced from the deep seas in Saudi Arabia, Brunei, and certain regions in the United States.
However
, the uprising utilisation of oil has raised worries among the citizens as this
product is a non-renewable source of energy
. Interestingly, scientists all around the world have started collaborating synergies to develop an alternative power supply to keep up with the ongoing demand. Therefore
, is it commendable for the government to allocate sufficient funds to the research and development (R&D) of newer vitality? In my opinion, the urgency of extra expenditure on creating new power is vital and indispensable.
Right off the bat, I believe that renewable energy
will greatly improve and extend the atmospheric status of the planet, as the energy
does not produce toxic by-products. To illustrate this
, diesel-driven vehicles often pollute the air with their released gases; carbon monoxides, oxides of sulphur and nitrogen, as well as
carbofluorocarbons (CFCs). Concurrently, naturally sourced energy
such
as water and sun should be used as the main origin of vitality as they produce double the amount of useful energy
and subsequently
reduce wastage.
Other than that, the government should use their intellectual acuity as renewable energy
is more cost-effective in the long run. Although
the cost of investment in purchasing the mechanical and electronic parts of the machinery is skyrocketing higher than non-renewable energy
, the cost is a one-time payment with a low maintenance fee. To understand this
deeper, building a hydraulic dam is bank breakingly pricey, however
, once it is built, the dam could generate energy
for the whole state and beyond, depending on its size and capacity, accumulatively, the sum is relatively lower than using the latter (non-renewable energy
).
In conclusion, addressing this
burgeoning issue necessitates the implementation of holistic, evidence-based interventions in order to mitigate the depletion of an important source of energy
for humanity. Therefore
, I believe that the government should be the primary driver in making recyclable energy
the main focus for globalisation by working hand-in-hand with leaders of the world. As the saying goes, prevention is better than cure.Submitted by lishaanatalie on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a well-rounded discussion on the necessity of investing in renewable energy sources. However, it could benefit from a clearer delineation of your main points, including distinct paragraphs for each major idea.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence outlining what will be discussed. This can help guide the reader and improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or statistical data to support your arguments. Adding real-world references or noting significant projects in renewable energy can bolster your position.
general
Some of your vocabulary choices and grammatical structures are advanced and appropriate; however, there are moments where simpler expressions might make your argument clearer. Strive for a balance between complexity and clarity.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage, presenting the issue and your stance clearly.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion summarises your points well and reinforces your argument strongly.
general
You used a variety of sentence structures and complex vocabulary, demonstrating a good command of the English language.
supported main points
There is a good level of depth in your supporting arguments, which helps in demonstrating your clear understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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