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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment that year.

#plans #show #site #airport #redevelopment #year
The map illustrates how a southwest airport will be changed from now to the future.
Overall
, it can be seen that there will be significant changes, including the introduction of gates and sky trains and the construction of car hire. Looking at the details, at present, a walkway has been created, which is occupied by eight gates.
However
, after development, there will be an extension of the north part of the airport, eighteen gates and sky trains.
While
, security, passport control and customs will be remained unchanged, there will be an introduction of shops. Regarding the south side of the map, check-in will be replaced by a bag drop and will be relocated to the centre of the map. Another interesting change is that the café will be extended to two in the two corners of the south side. And, of course, there will be construction of the ATM and car hire.
Submitted by halilova039 on

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task achievement
Your response is quite clear and addresses the task well. However, you should aim for more detail when describing the changes in the airport. This will help the reader gain a better understanding of the redevelopment. Try to include specifics such as the location of the new gates and the sky train route.
coherence cohesion
You have done a good job organizing your essay with an introduction and overall summary. However, the paragraph detailing the changes to the north side could be better structured. Avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like 'While'. Instead, integrate these ideas smoothly into your sentences for better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and provides an effective overview of the changes to the airport.
task achievement
Your essay effectively captures the major changes to both the north and south sides of the airport, providing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • terminal
  • car park
  • runways
  • redevelopment
  • proposed changes
  • expanded terminals
  • new gates
  • additional parking
  • amenities
  • navigation
  • environmental impact
  • economic impact
  • job creation
  • traffic congestion
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