Some people think that children should be educated at school about paying taxes and personal budgeting in order to help them better manage their finances when they are older. Others think that parents should teach these things, and that children will understand taxes and how to spend money carefully through life experience in the future. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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A group of individuals consider that pupils should be taught at
school
about tax payment and personal budgeting as it will help them to spend
money
in a better way in the future, meanwhile, others think that
parents
should explain it to their
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and that life experience will teach them how to manage their
money
and
taxes
. The essay agrees that a balanced approach should be used regarding
this
question because all of us should understand from our childhood how to spend
money
attentively and
this
can be provided by the role of both
school
and
parents
. Every person has to deal with
money
as getting older, but not all people can do it correctly
due to
low
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
of financial accuracy.
However
, the lack of financial literacy appears owing to not being educated about it from
school
years.
Children
's personal abilities are formed during
school
time so it is crucial to teach them at least
basics
Correct article usage
the basics
show examples
of
taxes
and
money
management. Recent research by Minnesota University demonstrates that
schools
can help
children
a lot by teaching them about
money
expenditure and
taxes
which can be understood from their interviews, particularly 77.2% of adults who face problems with accurate
money
spending simply do not have financial accuracy since they were not taught about it at
school
,
in contrast
, 88.2% of recent pupils and students who study at local
schools
and colleges perfectly deal with that process and do not have any problems. Babies open their eyes to
this
world in their families and in the beginning, they are like a white piece of paper, so their personalities get created and developed with the help of their
parents
.
According to
this
statement,
it is clear that
parents
know their
children
better than someone else in
school
,
furthermore
,
schools
can never exactly know what they spend their
money
on and the manner of expenditure,
while
parents
know. It would be easier for
parents
rather than teachers to control their kids and help them to do it in a more accurate way.
In addition
,
this
method seems to be more effective because
children
are more likely to listen to their
parents
.
For instance
, 83.2% of schoolers who study in 11 state
schools
of Essex claim that they would like to get the help of their families rather than teachers. In my opinion, if both
schools
and teachers help kids and explain to them how to use their
money
and pay
taxes
, better results can be observed as both institutions affect
children
in a different but still strong way.
To conclude
,
although
some people suggest that
schools
or families should teach their
children
about
money
expenditure and
taxes
, the given essay strongly supports the idea of balance.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and supports its main points with relevant examples. However, try to make your arguments even clearer and more detailed to achieve a higher score.
coherence cohesion
While your essay generally follows a logical structure, consider using more transitional phrases to further improve the flow and connectivity between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete and relevant response to the task, discussing both views and offering a balanced opinion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reiterates the main points discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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