Now a days more and more people are migrating to developed countries for higher education and better employment opportunities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of migration?
Countries with good economies and technology provide numerous chances to grow in various sectors. The number of individuals, who are moving to developed nations for higher studies and better job opportunities has been increasing gradually in recent times. There are a considerable amount of merits and demerits in regard to
this
issue, and Linking Words
this
essay discusses both of them.
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To begin
with, the benefits of migrating to developed countries are quite many. Linking Words
However
, the most important advantage is to explore new fields. When compared to under-developed or developing countries, these nations provide a broad range of educational and job options with a chance to take a look into new domains, which helps people to achieve their dreams. Linking Words
For instance
, the USA, being a well-developed nation, provides opportunities in different fields Linking Words
such
as science, arts, technology, literature, business and many others which are not available in their own country and Linking Words
hence
, people shift to the USA to avail those facilities.
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On the other hand
, there are a few handicaps regarding Linking Words
this
situation. If a student or a job aspirant decides to go to another country, it affects the person and their whole family financially. The cost bearings for all the required processes and shifting are too high. Linking Words
For example
, in the case of a student, who got admitted to their higher education, whose tuition fees are unbearable for regular middle-class people, the parents have to take care of their schooling and living expenses which tampers them financially.
To summarize, though migrating to better nations for employment chances and higher studies has benefits like exploring many fields, it brings down the family's financial status Linking Words
while
bearing all the expenses to move to that country. Linking Words
Therefore
, in my opinion, it is better to consider all these situations before deciding to opt to move to another nation.Linking Words
Submitted by tejanavyapc2000 on
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coherence cohesion
It is important to ensure logical sequencing of information and ideas. While your essay displays an attempt at organizing points, transitions between them can be sharpened to enhance readability and flow. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are evident in the essay, which is commendable. To improve, ensure that the introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by presenting a clear thesis statement, and that the conclusion succinctly summarises the main points, leaving a strong final impression.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally supported, but they need to be developed further with more detailed examples and explanations. When discussing advantages and disadvantages, consider bringing in statistics, studies, or real-world scenarios that can substantiate your claims and make your argumentation more persuasive.
task achievement
To score higher in task achievement, your response should address all parts of the prompt completely. Be sure to cover both advantages and disadvantages equally, providing clear and comprehensive ideas. Expand on each point to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay conveys ideas; however, they sometimes lack depth. Aim to provide comprehensive explanations and arguments for each point you mention. This will help demonstrate a better grasp of the topic and fulfill the reader's expectations for complexity at this level of proficiency.
task achievement
Using relevant and specific examples is key to illustrating your points. You've included some examples, but they are quite general. To enhance your essay, offer more specific, detailed, and varied examples that directly relate to the points you are making.