IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A lot of money is spent on repairing old buildings. Instead of repairing old buildings, that money should be spent on knocking down old buildings and building new one. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings
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Many people say that when trying to fix old
buildings
, replacing
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 with new
buildings
 will be a better way. In my opinion, I totally disagree with
this
 point of view as the
cost
for destroy
Change preposition
of destroying
show examples
 and
construct
Wrong verb form
constructing
show examples
 the new
buildings
 will be
cost
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more than
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 repairing the old
buildings
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
 topic and extend more opinions. First of all, with
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 large number of
buildings
, the payment for
kocking
Correct your spelling
knocking
 down will be expensive. Meanwhile, owners can
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
efficiency
Correct article usage
the efficiency
show examples
 structure of the previous infrastructure to develop, so the
cost
for destroy
Change preposition
of destroying
show examples
 and building the new
one
 from the beginning can
be avoid
Change the verb form
be avoided
show examples
.
For example
, if
owner
Correct article usage
the owner
show examples
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to repair a high-rise building in the middle of the city, the process
to destroy
Change preposition
of destroying
show examples
 all the
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 will
be complicate
Change the verb form
be complicated
show examples
 and it
takes
Wrong verb form
will take
show examples
 a lot of
machine
Change to a plural noun
machines
show examples
 to complete,
while
change
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
 some details or
erect
Wrong verb form
erecting
show examples
 more
buildings
 based on the old structure will be faster and save more money.
Second,
the process of knocking down old
buildings
 and building new
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 wastes materials and resources. All the old materials can
be sell
Change the verb form
be sold
show examples
 as
second hand
Add a hyphen
second-hand
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
, it will be
waste
Wrong verb form
wasted
show examples
 if the owner
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to destroy them.
For example
, when
owner
Correct article usage
an owner
show examples
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to enhance the old
buildings
Fix the agreement mistake
building
show examples
, the facility in the old building should
be sell
Change the verb form
be sold
be selling
show examples
instead
 of
destroy
Wrong verb form
destroyed
show examples
.
Besides
 that, knocking down and
contructing
Correct your spelling
constructing
 the new building
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 an enormous amount of labour.
For instance
, replacing a 50
levels
Fix the agreement mistake
level
show examples
 apartment with a totally new
one
 must have at least 100 to 200 workers for construction so the salary pay for the workers
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 a lot, and the money for hiring construction
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 very high. In conclusion, knocking down the old
buildings
 and constructing the new
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
show examples
 money and
resouces
Correct your spelling
resources
 more than just repairing the old
buildings
.
Submitted by pquocvinh0810 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on refining your logical structure. Currently, the paragraphs are loosely connected and can benefit from clearer transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to fully illustrate your points. This helps to make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for achieving coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You attempt to cover different aspects of the topic, which shows a good understanding of the question.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical significance
  • Cultural heritage
  • Environmental impact
  • Sustainable
  • Cost-effective
  • Retrofit
  • Community sentiment
  • Public outcry
  • Urban aesthetics
  • Blend of architecture
  • Tourism attraction
  • Long-term economic benefits
  • Modern technologies and amenities
What to do next:
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