the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
The following chart illustrates the
number
of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Caribbean
island
visitors
who stayed on cruise ships or
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
island
from 2010 to 2017. The chart
also
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
the total
number
of tourists. At first glance, it is evident that the total
number
of
visitors
had a significant increase over the seven years. Looking at the details, 1
million
people visited the
island
in 2010. The
number
of
visitors
rose gradually from 2010 to 2014, reaching 2.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 2014. After 2014, it experienced another slight rise and
then
, levelled off from 2015 to 2016.
Finally
, it hit
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
peak of 3.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, having a noticeable increase. In terms of the
number
of people who stayed on cruise ships, it increased from less than half of a
million
in 2010 to 0.5
million
in 2011.
Although
it had a
decease
Correct your spelling
decrease
show examples
in 2012, it experienced a
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
rise over the 5 years, reaching 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 2017. Looking at the line for the
number
of
visitors
who stayed on the
island
,
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
remained under 1
million
for a year and
then
, it rose to 1
million
and
half
Change the article
a half
show examples
from 2011 to 2013. After staying steady during a
2-years
Correct your spelling
2-year
period, it had a fall in 2016.
Lastly
, it increased from 2016 to 2017, coming back to 1.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, island, visitors, million, millions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: