IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own pourer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

#professionals #doctors #teachers #pourer #countries #work #situation
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It is thought by some that a number of professionals, like doctors and teachers, are leaving for their own
pourer
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poorer
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countries
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 to work in developed
countries
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. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss a possible problem and what we can do to resolve it. Several professionals in poor nations suffer from many issues.
Thus
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, they make the decision to leave their motherland and seek a fulfilling life outside their
countries
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.
This
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 reflects on their
countries
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 and causes a lot of problems. It is likely that
this
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 migration will reduce the level of services in the
country
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,
such
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 as healthcare or education.
This
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 would reduce the chances of improving the
country
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as well as
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 making it less prosperous.
For example
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, it is known that India has a lot of specialists in various fields. An enormous percentage of them tend to depart India and work in Europe or the U.S.A. There are many ways to remedy these problems,
such
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 as by enhancing their workplaces,
such
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 as schools or hospitals, or by providing an appropriate environment for them. A second solution would be to raise their wages to levels similar to those of developed
countries
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.
Due to
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 doctors' travels and overseas work, Kenya suffered.
Therefore
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, they decided to pay them a higher salary, which decreased their travel time between
countries
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. The general conclusion is that professionals tend to emigrate from their poor native land and settle in a developed
country
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, causing problems for their home
country
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.
Submitted by aldiyarov.e on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the issue of professionals leaving poorer countries to work in developed countries and identifies the associated problems comprehensively. However, ensure that the essay directly addresses both parts of the question equally: discussing both problems and solutions. The essay can benefit from touching upon potential global implications and providing a slightly more detailed discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally flows well and is easy to follow. Try to ensure each paragraph directly supports the main argument or solution with evidence or examples clearly linked to your ideas. Some small improvements in paragraph transitions could enhance overall coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and effectively summarize the main points of the essay. This creates a strong foundation and closure for your argument.
supported main points
Good support of main points with relevant examples, such as referencing India's professionals moving abroad, which helps solidify your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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