Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that
children
should be taught by their
parents
,
while
others believe that sending
children
to educational institutions is the best way for them to study
this
.
Although
,in my opinion, I believe that the family upbringing plays a more important role model in educating
children
to be good parts of the community. School can be a good
places
Correct the article-noun agreement
place
show examples
to
educating
Wrong verb form
educate
show examples
kids
. By the
teachers
Add a comma
teachers,
show examples
students
can learn good things. The
teachers
are a good model in educating
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
. The
teachers
always
learn to
Verb problem
teach
show examples
students
how can play
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
good manner.
Firstly
, the
teachers
always teach how to behave
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
community.
Secondly
,
teachers
can help the
students
to learn how to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.
For instance
,
teachers
when
tech
Correct your spelling
teach
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
then
they can play a good
behave
Replace the word
behaviour
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Despite above the arguments,
Family
Correct article usage
the Family
show examples
is a more important role model to
children
. Every
kid
Change noun form
kid's
show examples
first school is their family . They can learn by birth to the family member. Every
parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
show examples
always
tech
Correct your spelling
teaches
show examples
their
kids
how to be a good citizen.
On the other hand
, by the
parents
Add a comma
parents,
show examples
kids
can be learned how to be a good man.
As a result
,
children
Add a missing verb
are to
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
For example
, if
children
learn good things or good
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
their
parents
then
they can behave as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. In conclusion,
sending
Change preposition
by sending
show examples
kids
to educational institutions they can gain a good manner. But, in my opinion, I believe that
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
need their family because
thay
Correct your spelling
they
can teach easily to their
parents
.
Finally
is the first priority to the
kids
.
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on

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Language
Work on grammar and vocabulary to improve the overall clarity of your essay. For example, 'By the teachers students can learn good things' is unclear and should be revised for better understanding.
Details
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
Coherence
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and paragraphs. For example, use 'however,' 'therefore,' 'moreover,' etc., to connect your thoughts.
Structure
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which provides a complete structure to your essay.
Task Response
You have addressed both views of the topic, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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