Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

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Some people believe that

children

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should be taught by their

parents

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while

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others believe that sending

children

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to educational institutions is the best way for them to study

this

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Although

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,in my opinion, I believe that the family upbringing plays a more important role model in educating

children

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to be good parts of the community. School can be a good

places

Correct the article-noun agreement

place

show examples

educating

Wrong verb form

educate

show examples

kids

Use synonyms

. By the

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teachers

Add a comma

teachers,

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students

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can learn good things. The

teachers

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are a good model in educating

kid

Fix the agreement mistake

kids

show examples

. The

teachers

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always

learn to

Verb problem

teach

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students

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how can play

Change preposition

in a

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good manner.

Firstly

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, the

teachers

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always teach how to behave

the

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in the

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community.

Secondly

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teachers

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can help the

students

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to learn how to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

citizen

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citizens

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For instance

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teachers

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when

tech

Correct your spelling

teach

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students

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then

Linking Words

they can play a good

behave

Replace the word

behaviour

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society. Despite above the arguments,

Family

Correct article usage

the Family

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is a more important role model to

children

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. Every

kid

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kid's

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first school is their family . They can learn by birth to the family member. Every

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parents

Change to a singular noun

parent

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always

tech

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teaches

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their

kids

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how to be a good citizen.

On the other hand

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, by the

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parents

Add a comma

parents,

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kids

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can be learned how to be a good man.

As a result

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children

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

are to

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Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

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good

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

For example

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, if

children

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learn good things or good

manner

Fix the agreement mistake

manners

show examples

Change preposition

from

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their

parents

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then

Linking Words

they can behave as

Correct article usage

apply

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good

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

. In conclusion,

sending

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by sending

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kids

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to educational institutions they can gain a good manner. But, in my opinion, I believe that

for

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apply

show examples

every

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children

Change to a singular noun

child

show examples

need their family because

thay

Correct your spelling

they

can teach easily to their

parents

Use synonyms

Finally

Linking Words

is the first priority to the

kids

Use synonyms

Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on Mon Sep 30 2024

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Language

Work on grammar and vocabulary to improve the overall clarity of your essay. For example, 'By the teachers students can learn good things' is unclear and should be revised for better understanding.

Details

Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.

Coherence

Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and paragraphs. For example, use 'however,' 'therefore,' 'moreover,' etc., to connect your thoughts.

Structure

You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which provides a complete structure to your essay.

Task Response

You have addressed both views of the topic, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the task.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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