In recent years, “responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To address the burden tourism brings to the local
culture
and environment, the idea of "responsible
tourists
" has been emerged and promoted by different
travel
destinations.
While
some people hoped to advertise
this
idea to holidaymakers, it is not just difficult to define "responsible" but
also
travel
agencies are not sensitive
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
making tourism sustainable.
This
paper aims to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
assess
this
topic through different contrasting views with personal insights added. In some places in the world, there have been assumptions that cultures and natural sceneries can be better respected if overseas
travellers
were "responsible". In Japan,
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
and signs were set up across the streets to remind
tourists
with tips
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
avoiding disrespectful behaviours as considered by the locals.
According to
an interview conducted by the NHK, most respondents hoped that these measures
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
help to eliminate
tourists
' unwanted manners in local communities.
While
inviting
tourists
to be "responsible" could be beneficial to host countries, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
this
initiative was barely simple and realistic to
immplement
Correct your spelling
implement
.
Firstly
,
foreignners
Correct your spelling
foreigners
often live in locations where cultures are contrasting to their
travel
destination where there have been differences in expectations between the local people and the
travellers
, even "being responsible"
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
their intention.
For instance
,
while
tipping
culture
was popular in North American restaurants to show appreciation
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the service, people from other countries would be used to paying only the meal costs. With aspects like
this
, I am certain that it is challenging for overseas
tourists
to adopt a brand new
culture
in order to gain perfect impressions by the locals.
Secondly
, Many tourist attractions were irresponsible in balancing their hosting capacity of
tourists
over maximising
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
potential revenue. In destinations like Phuket and Disneyland,
travel
agents and operators are keen to attract as many
travellers
as possible for a better economic return, undermining the burden of not just the destination itself, but
also
the communities nearby. With too many
tourists
exploiting the area, I believe it is impossible for them to be considered as "responsible" even
they
Correct word choice
though they
show examples
have respect
local
Change preposition
for local
show examples
rituals. All in all, with differences in cultural expectations
as well as
the inability to control the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
tourists
in a
travel
destination, it is nearly impossible for overseas
travellers
to gain the impression of "responsible
tourists
" even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
have heard and
willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
to practice the idea. In my opinion, local
culture
and environment can only preserved by the mutual effort of all stakeholders involved and engaged at
travel
destinations.
Submitted by 788seal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt well, providing a comprehensive discussion of both sides of the argument. However, to achieve a higher score, you could include more specific examples and statistical data to substantiate your points further.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clearly presented and easy to follow. However, there are occasional lapses in coherence, such as minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Paying attention to sentence structure and transitions between paragraphs can further improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, starting with an introduction that sets the stage for your discussion and concluding effectively, reinforcing your stance.
task achievement
The points you raised are relevant and directly address the essay prompt. The use of examples like Japan's signage and the tipping culture nicely supports your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!