Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Music, art, and drama are part of the seven
arts
, those
arts
existed since the beginning creation human race for what is known as purification to allow people to find an outlet for themselves that helps them endure the hardships of life, they can express their thoughts and dreams, considering those subjects are important and includes them to our children’s school curriculums is an advantage, I agree with
this
idea because that indicates an awareness of the
way
to built the character of our children and weight their experiences with two sides.
First,
it gives them an opinion and a thoughtful outlook ..
Second,
makes them able to express their opinion courageously in front of many crowds In my
way
of thinking creating our children’s personalities, by participating them in one type of those
arts
, having a strong personality able to face any struggle, and learning how to express something in front of numerous people, is an ability we could not find in most of us, It is my firm belief that teaching to our children how to express without fear or hesitation is the best
way
for them to encourage their abilities and express about their selves. Another advantage of teaching those
arts
in the schools is improving their pass of communication,
however
, these
arts
have a direct impact on people and have instant feedback, so it will be a great chance for them to know the influence of their performance on the audience directly to improve their skills or to have more confidence.
Last
, but not least adding those
arts
to our curriculum school, especially in primary schools the age of forming their characters is a brilliant
way
to create a strong independent generation that knows their goal and counts priestly their steps
Submitted by Mido  on

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coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps in maintaining a logical structure.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or scenarios to support your main arguments. This will help illustrate your points better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point supported with evidence or examples. This improves coherence and makes your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
Avoid repeating the same ideas. Instead, expand on each point to provide a comprehensive response.
task achievement
Good attempt at discussing multiple aspects of the importance of arts in education.
task achievement
Expresses clear support for including arts in the curriculum, showing a well-defined stance.
coherence cohesion
Uses some linking words and phrases to connect ideas, which improves cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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