IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #newspaper
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, technology is more advanced and
newspapers
Use synonyms
 can be packed into a smartphone. With
this
Linking Words
 convenience, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that printed
papers
Use synonyms
 are no longer necessary. In my view, conventional
newspapers
Use synonyms
 are really essential despite the rapid development of digital media. On the one hand, online news offers significant advantages because it rejects the time-consuming printing process.
Additionally
Linking Words
, readers can access it easily by clicking and scrolling on their devices, with options
adjust
Fix the infinitive
to adjust
show examples
Correct article usage
the front
show examples
front
Correct your spelling
font
show examples
 size and style for easier reading. These practical features have attracted many users, especially young
people
Use synonyms
. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, many
Use synonyms
newspapers
Change the noun form
newspaper
show examples
 companies focus on developing their websites to increase readers,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
leading some
people
Use synonyms
think
Fix the infinitive
to think
show examples
 that paper news
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
outdates
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
e-paper
Correct your spelling
e-papers
 bring many benefits, traditional
newspapers
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 still essential for individuals without smartphones and internet access, especially low-income
people
Use synonyms
. Poor folk can not afford monthly internet services or devices to read online news. If printed
papers
Use synonyms
 disappear, some
people
Use synonyms
 will not be able to receive important information.
Therefore
Linking Words
, conventional
newspapers
Use synonyms
 are necessary for
segment
Add an article
a segment
the segment
show examples
 of the population. In conclusion, the convenience of
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
show examples
 version can not be denied but not everyone has the means to access it. I strongly disagree with the idea that printed
papers
Use synonyms
 are no longer needed, as many
people
Use synonyms
 depend on them. So traditional
papers
Use synonyms
 should continue to be produced in the digital age.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Improve logical transitions between paragraphs, especially between the first and last body paragraph.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your arguments.
Language Use
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that effectively address the essay topic.
Task Achievement
Clear stance and response to the essay prompt, addressing both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are identifiable and provide a structured argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: