Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are the causes of it and what solution do you offer?

#stress #countries #world #offer

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It is an undeniable fact that

mentally

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mental

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well-being is one of the major

issuesfaced

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issues faced

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the world in

21st

Correct article usage

the 21st

show examples

centuary

Correct your spelling

century

This

essay will explore how work pressure and academic strain are the root causes of

this

concern, and how through proper time management and study techniques

this

problem can be curtailed. There are multiple causes of

this

subject.

Firstly

, one of the biggest reasons is the

work load

Correct your spelling

workload

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on individuals which

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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nervousness as they have to complete it within the given time.

For instance

, countries like Japan and South

korea

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Korea

show examples

are confronting several stress

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

in their people

due to

overwork, where

person

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a person

the person

show examples

has to do a long task with just a short break.

Thus

this

Submitted by tsarfraz170 on Mon Sep 30 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay needs a clearer introduction and conclusion. Begin by restating the essay prompt using your own words, and conclude with a summary of your key points.

supported main points

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and sufficient supporting details. For example, your paragraph about work pressure should include varied and specific examples.

complete response

Your essay should cover more causes and solutions to provide a complete response. Consider adding additional root causes such as financial difficulties or social pressures, and more solutions like mental health awareness programs.

logical structure

Your essay has a logical structure, with clear sections about causes and solutions.

relevant specific examples

You have used relevant specific examples, particularly the mention of Japan and South Korea.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

119 words

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Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are the causes of it and what solution do you offer?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some cities public parks and open space are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some expert believe that is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do they advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.