Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are the causes of it and what solution do you offer?

#stress #countries #world #offer

It is an undeniable fact that

mentally

Change the word

mental

show examples

well-being is one of the major

issuesfaced

Correct your spelling

issues faced

Change preposition

show examples

the world in

21st

Correct article usage

the 21st

show examples

centuary

Correct your spelling

century

This

essay will explore how work pressure and academic strain are the root causes of

this

concern, and how through proper time management and study techniques

this

problem can be curtailed. There are multiple causes of

this

subject.

Firstly

, one of the biggest reasons is the

work load

Correct your spelling

workload

show examples

on individuals which

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nervousness as they have to complete it within the given time.

For instance

, countries like Japan and South

korea

Change the capitalization

Korea

show examples

are confronting several stress

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

in their people

due to

overwork, where

person

Add an article

a person

the person

show examples

has to do a long task with just a short break.

Thus

this

Submitted by tsarfraz170 on Mon Sep 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay needs a clearer introduction and conclusion. Begin by restating the essay prompt using your own words, and conclude with a summary of your key points.

supported main points

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and sufficient supporting details. For example, your paragraph about work pressure should include varied and specific examples.

complete response

Your essay should cover more causes and solutions to provide a complete response. Consider adding additional root causes such as financial difficulties or social pressures, and more solutions like mental health awareness programs.

logical structure

Your essay has a logical structure, with clear sections about causes and solutions.

relevant specific examples

You have used relevant specific examples, particularly the mention of Japan and South Korea.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

119 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Many people believe that online education can only supplement and enhance traditional classroom-based education while others are sure that online education is good by itself. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
Many individuals see online education as an addition and enhancement to conventional classroom-based education. On the contrary, opponents of such an idea say that online instruction can be perceived as a substantive form of education. While I notice a high value of online teaching, I do concur with the notion that its main role is to improve classic face-to-face learning processes. Nonetheless, in this essay, I will explore both points of view.
4.5
band
Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practice traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?
In my country, Indonesia, traditional medicine raised its popularity. It was started on pandemic era, alongside with other Eastern Asian countries which even have traditional medicine as a major option in universities. Herbal medicine practicioners even often claims natural ways for healing are better than using modern medicine. I have once recovered from Asthma by drinking bitter roots extract after spending five years on intensive treatment from local hospital.
7
band
The opinion exists that old buildings should be demolished to make way for modern structures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It can be seen that protecting and repairing ancient buildings is extremely expensive. Some believe that they should be demolished and rebuilt in a more modern style, while others believe that they should be maintained and retained. This article will explore the arguments in favour of the latter viewpoint and demonstrate why I disagree with it.
6
band
Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?
Today many people are sleep-deprived. I think this can take a toll on their relationships and their ability to perform certain tasks. Fortunately, meditation can help.
5.5
band
Social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face – to – face contact in this century. Do you think the advantage of this way outweigh the disadvantages?
Social media has been changed people's behaviour to interact each other as the face-to-face communication does not compulsory anymore. I believe that this will give many advantages as increasing the effectiveness to conduct meeting and contributing to reduce carbon emissions in travels as well.

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are the causes of it and what solution do you offer?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people believe that online education can only supplement and enhance traditional classroom-based education while others are sure that online education is good by itself. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Traditional medicine, such as acupuncture and herbal remedies, is very popular in some countries. Those who practice traditional medicine claim it is better than modern medicine in maintaining and improving health. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

The opinion exists that old buildings should be demolished to make way for modern structures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face – to – face contact in this century. Do you think the advantage of this way outweigh the disadvantages?