Due to rapid development of technology children these days are living in a world that is completely different to what it was few decades back what problems can this cause for society and family?

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There is no denying the fact that
the
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apply
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technology may have
bad
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a bad
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effect
Use synonyms
to
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on
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our children.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that the new generation will have more freedom in using
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this
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these
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tools, there is
also
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an argument that
this
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may
Use synonyms
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
them badly.
This
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essay will discuss the problem and
the
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its
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causes. On one hand, spending a lot of
time
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facing a screen may cause you health problems.
In other words
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, if you
did
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do
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not do any exercise that will
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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your heart and you will gain more kilos and
that's
Verb problem
that will
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have
bad
Add an article
a bad
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effect
Use synonyms
in the future.
In addition
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, many kids these days run away from engagements.
For example
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, my brother
raised
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was raised
show examples
up
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apply
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with a PlayStation,
most
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and most
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of his
time
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is
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was
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spent
on
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apply
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playing he almost
lose
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lost
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his social experience because of
this
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, he
can
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could
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not face
new
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the new
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person
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people
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and have normal
chat
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chats
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anymore.
Furthermore
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, the new kids can not control their
time
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.
For instance
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, if there is
a
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an
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exam or homework they can not start doing it because they are busy with the game and
that's
Unnecessary verb
that
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will have bad results in
near
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the near
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time
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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,
the
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apply
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children may lose their
mind
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minds
show examples
because of technology. It is
also
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possible to say that, kids often play with enthusiasm and if one of the parents
cut
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cuts
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their game they will rage at the
on
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one
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who cut his game,
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this
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and this
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will create more problems between
kid
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the kid
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and the parents. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that it is really bad the increase
of
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in
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technology,
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this
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apply
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will bring us a bad generation in the next decades.
Submitted by bcynfn159 on

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task achievement
To improve your task response, you should try to address the prompt more specifically and completely. You have discussed some problems caused by technology for society and family, but your examples, at times, appear repetitive and confined mostly to personal anecdotes.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but ensure you focus on developing each idea fully and avoid redundancy. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your arguments in a more coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures. This can make your essay more engaging and help you express your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the essay and outlines the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
You provide examples to support your points, which is good practice for strengthening your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • face-to-face interactions
  • family bonds
  • health problems
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • healthcare system
  • quality of life
  • educational inequalities
  • social skills
  • real-life interactions
  • communicate effectively
  • cybersecurity risks
  • cyberbullying
  • online predators
  • inappropriate content
  • overreliance
  • problem-solving
  • creativity
  • critical thinking skills
  • monitor and regulate
  • conflicts
  • stress
  • technology usage
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