Due to rapid development of technology children these days are living in a world that is completely different to what it was few decades back what problems can this cause for society and family?
There is no denying the fact that
the
technology may have Correct article usage
apply
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
effect
to
our children. Change preposition
on
While
it is a commonly held belief that the new generation will have more freedom in using this
tools, there is Correct determiner usage
these
also
an argument that this
may effect
them badly. Correct your spelling
affect
This
essay will discuss the problem and the
causes.
On one hand, spending a lot of Change the word
its
time
facing a screen may cause you health problems. In other words
, if you did
not do any exercise that will Wrong verb form
do
effect
your heart and you will gain more kilos and Correct your spelling
affect
that's
have Verb problem
that will
bad
Add an article
a bad
effect
in the future. In addition
, many kids these days run away from engagements. For example
, my brother raised
Add a missing verb
was raised
up
with a PlayStation, Change preposition
apply
most
of his Correct word choice
and most
time
is
spent Wrong verb form
was
on
playing he almost Change preposition
apply
lose
his social experience because of Wrong verb form
lost
this
, he can
not face Wrong verb form
could
new
Add an article
the new
person
and have normal Fix the agreement mistake
people
chat
anymore.
Fix the agreement mistake
chats
Furthermore
, the new kids can not control their time
. For instance
, if there is a
exam or homework they can not start doing it because they are busy with the game and Change the article
an
that's
will have bad results in Unnecessary verb
that
near
Correct article usage
the near
time
. Moreover
, the
children may lose their Correct article usage
apply
mind
because of technology. It is Fix the agreement mistake
minds
also
possible to say that, kids often play with enthusiasm and if one of the parents cut
their game they will rage at the Wrong verb form
cuts
on
who cut his game, Correct your spelling
one
this
will create more problems between Correct word choice
and this
kid
and the parents.
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to Correct article usage
the kid
this
question. On balance, however
, I tend to believe that it is really bad the increase of
technology, Change preposition
in
this
will bring us a bad generation in the next decades.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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task achievement
To improve your task response, you should try to address the prompt more specifically and completely. You have discussed some problems caused by technology for society and family, but your examples, at times, appear repetitive and confined mostly to personal anecdotes.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but ensure you focus on developing each idea fully and avoid redundancy. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your arguments in a more coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures. This can make your essay more engaging and help you express your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the essay and outlines the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
You provide examples to support your points, which is good practice for strengthening your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?