Due to rapid development of technology children these days are living in a world that is completely different to what it was few decades back what problems can this cause for society and family?

#development #technology #children #world #decades #society

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There is no denying the fact that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology may have

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

effect

Use synonyms

Change preposition

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our children.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that the new generation will have more freedom in using

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

tools, there is

also

Linking Words

an argument that

this

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may

Use synonyms

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

them badly.

This

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essay will discuss the problem and

the

Change the word

its

show examples

causes. On one hand, spending a lot of

time

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facing a screen may cause you health problems.

In other words

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, if you

did

Wrong verb form

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not do any exercise that will

Use synonyms

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

your heart and you will gain more kilos and

that's

Verb problem

that will

show examples

have

bad

Add an article

a bad

show examples

effect

Use synonyms

in the future.

In addition

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, many kids these days run away from engagements.

For example

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, my brother

raised

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was raised

show examples

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apply

show examples

with a PlayStation,

most

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and most

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of his

time

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Wrong verb form

was

show examples

spent

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apply

show examples

playing he almost

lose

Wrong verb form

lost

show examples

his social experience because of

this

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, he

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

not face

new

Add an article

the new

show examples

person

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people

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and have normal

chat

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chats

show examples

anymore.

Furthermore

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, the new kids can not control their

time

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For instance

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, if there is

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show examples

exam or homework they can not start doing it because they are busy with the game and

that's

Unnecessary verb

that

show examples

will have bad results in

near

Correct article usage

the near

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time

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

the

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apply

show examples

children may lose their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

because of technology. It is

also

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possible to say that, kids often play with enthusiasm and if one of the parents

cut

Wrong verb form

cuts

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their game they will rage at the

Correct your spelling

one

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who cut his game,

Linking Words

this

Correct word choice

and this

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will create more problems between

kid

Correct article usage

the kid

show examples

and the parents. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question. On balance,

however

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, I tend to believe that it is really bad the increase

Change preposition

show examples

technology,

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this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will bring us a bad generation in the next decades.

Submitted by bcynfn159 on Mon Sep 30 2024

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task achievement

To improve your task response, you should try to address the prompt more specifically and completely. You have discussed some problems caused by technology for society and family, but your examples, at times, appear repetitive and confined mostly to personal anecdotes.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear, but ensure you focus on developing each idea fully and avoid redundancy. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your arguments in a more coherent manner.

coherence cohesion

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures. This can make your essay more engaging and help you express your ideas more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets the context for the essay and outlines the main points you will discuss.

task achievement

You provide examples to support your points, which is good practice for strengthening your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

screen time
face-to-face interactions
family bonds
health problems
obesity
eye strain
poor posture
healthcare system
quality of life
educational inequalities
social skills
real-life interactions
communicate effectively
cybersecurity risks
cyberbullying
online predators
inappropriate content
overreliance
problem-solving
creativity
critical thinking skills
monitor and regulate
conflicts
stress
technology usage

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Due to rapid development of technology children these days are living in a world that is completely different to what it was few decades back what problems can this cause for society and family?

Your opinion

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning your father language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages?

More and more people these days work harder and longer hours and have no time for family life and friends. What are the causes in your opinion for this? How is it affecting family life and the society as a whole?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.