IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people no longer read newspaper or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

In modern times, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 have abandoned
tradional
Correct your spelling
traditional
 methods for
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
news
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 as they have
been
Verb problem
become
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 more reliant on
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
sources
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. Despite many
people
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have
Wrong verb form
having
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 believed that
this
Linking Words
 trend is constructive as the
internet
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 provides free and instant
news
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, others have
concened
Correct your spelling
concerned
 the prevalence of fake
news
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 online triggering hate in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
This
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 paper aims to assess views and information from both camps, with personal insights provided. Unlike
old fashioned
Add a hyphen
old-fashioned
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 means of
news
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 distribution,
internet
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sources
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 offer free and instant
news
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 for
people
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 keeping themselves updated. In most circumstances,
news
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 viewers must pay a cost in order to purchase a newspaper or a license for television usage, with programs and
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
produce
Wrong verb form
produced
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 only at certain times a day.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 with the invention of the
internet
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,
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
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 information can be recorded and uploaded to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media by members of the community in seconds, where audiences can immediately have a glance
of
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at
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 incidents happening nearby. In my opinion,
such
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 an advancement in digital technology is crucially improving
distribution
Correct article usage
the distribution
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 and acknowledgement of current affairs to the general public.
While
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 online
sources
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 appeared to be a useful outlet for
people
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 obtaining
news
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, there have been some drawbacks significantly affecting
Correct pronoun usage
their
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its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 reliability.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many
news
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 found online are unverified
due to
Linking Words
 the overwhelming amount of
news
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 being distributed by the general public. Unlike traditional
news
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 outlets held by large agencies, independent individuals often distribute
news
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 online with less power or awareness to double-check its accuracy. With more than 50% of the respondents in a survey conducted by the
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 of London that they are always sceptic about the reliability of online
news
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sources
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, I can suspect that there would be a dramatic increase in the likelihood of the public
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 fake
news
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 if the current development of online
news
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 continues.
Secondly
Linking Words
, individuals often combine personal emotions into the
news
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 information distributed by themselves on the
internet
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, triggering hate and conflicts
to
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. During the election of the president
od
Correct your spelling
of
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 the United States in 2020,
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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 fake
news
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 and
inforamtion
Correct your spelling
information
 favouring one of the candidates
are
Verb problem
went
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 viral online
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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his
supporter
Fix the agreement mistake
supporters
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are
Wrong verb form
were
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 frustrated and decided to attack the
parliment
Correct your spelling
parliament
 when they
realise
Wrong verb form
realised
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 the candidate
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 lost the election, triggering one of the significant events in the American history. If all
news
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 on the
internet
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 produced neutrally with verification, I am certain that incidents like
this
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 will never
be happened
Change to the active voice
happen
have happened
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. All in all, with concerns
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
news
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 accuracy and rational emotion
attatched
Correct your spelling
attached
, the current trend of
news
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-viewing reliant on
internet
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sources
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is appeared
Change to the active voice
appears
has appeared
show examples
 to be a destructive development. In my opinion,
such
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 concerns could be addressed if traditional
news
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 agencies and governments can play a more active role in producing and monitoring quality
news
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 online
,
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apply
show examples
 so that the current direction of
news
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 distribution could be reversed.

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grammar vocabulary
Work on refining your grammar and vocabulary to reduce minor errors. You have a strong grasp of the language, but small mistakes can detract from the overall readability of your essay.
structure
While your arguments are solid and relevant, try to organize them in a more structured and logical manner. For instance, separating points into distinct paragraphs can help in maintaining a cohesive flow.
balance elaboration
Your essay covers the topic well, but ensuring all sections are equally well-developed would elevate its impact. The conclusion seems slightly rushed compared to the more detailed body paragraphs.
introduction conclusion
You have a compelling introduction and conclusion, which make it easy for the reader to understand the main points of your argument.
use examples
Your use of specific examples, such as the reference to the 2020 US presidential election, illustrates your points effectively and adds credibility to your arguments.
balanced arguments
The essay clearly addresses both sides of the argument, showcasing your ability to present a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Democratizes access to information
  • Real-time updates
  • Misinformation
  • Diverse range of sources
  • Multiple perspectives
  • Critical thinking
  • Reinforce biases
  • Information overload
  • Decline of traditional media
  • Innovation and adaptation
  • Interactive forms of news consumption
  • Engagement
  • Echo chambers
  • Unverified information
What to do next:
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