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Band 6.5

The following diagram shows the paper manufacturing cycle

The following diagram shows the paper manufacturing cycle
#paper #cycle
This
 diagram indicates us
paper
 manufacturing process .
This
 diagram shows that we can get
paper
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 two options. By recycled
paper
 and new
paper
.
Firstly
, I want to write about how to get
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
paper
 .
First,
people get materials from different types of forests ,
then
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
transfers
Correct subject-verb agreement
transfer
show examples
 to
wood-chip
Correct your spelling
wood chips
show examples
.
There
Replace the word
Their
show examples
 woods that came from forests get smaller into
wood-chips
Correct your spelling
wood chips
show examples
.
Then
 it will
send
Wrong verb form
be sent
show examples
 to
Pulp
Correct article usage
the Pulp
show examples
 and
paper
 factor . There in the industrial factory
wood-chips
Correct your spelling
wood chips
show examples
 will pass all
processes
Correct article usage
the processes
show examples
 that lead to
appearing
Replace the word
the appearance of
show examples
 new
paper
 . So , now I want to write about getting
paper
 by recycling it . After the all processes that
paper
 passed . Papers will
send
Wrong verb form
be sent
show examples
 to customers
, after
Correct word choice
and, after
show examples
the consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
become wasted
paper
 . All the consumed
paper
 will be collected and sent to
Pulp
Correct article usage
the Pulp
show examples
 and
paper
 factory. After all
processes
Add a comma
processes,
show examples
 it will become
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 one . By repeating
this
 cycle, we all have papers , that everyone can use for their own goals
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Vocabulary: Replace the words paper with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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