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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart gives employment and education statistics for eight European countries in 2015.

The chart gives employment and education statistics for eight European countries in 2015.
#employment #education #statistics #eight #european #countries
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The table shows statistics about employment and education in eight different European nations in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that Norway had the highest figures in all three aspects:
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
unemployment
 rate, high academic level and average income,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of the rest represented varied
datas
Correct your spelling
data
.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that Bulgarian's average income
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 the fewest monthly sum even if their employed rate and
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 educated workers were in the mean.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a closer look at the first column
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that roughly about half and nearly
three
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 quarter of their
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 aged 16-64 years were employed. At 74.8%, Norway accounted for the highest rate among all other countries, followed by the United Kingdom at 72.7% and Austria at 71.1%.
While
Linking Words
 the remaining European nations: Latvia, Luxemburg, Portugal and Bulgaria, reached over 60%, Greece was the only
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 that just over 50%, at 50.8%. With regards to,
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
, it is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable that Norwegians aged 25-64 years old with a university degree
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the greatest percentages of all eight nations,
as well as
Linking Words
 gained the largest income at 41,483 euros.
While
Linking Words
Portugeses
Correct your spelling
Portuguese
 with
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education accounted for 22.9% which was the smallest
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
, they were paid more than
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Bulgaria at 8,435 euros and 3,332 euros, respectively.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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