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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decades. This has made oversea travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

#cost #decades #oversea #travel #trend
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The topic of the price of flying has fallen dramatically in recent years. Which leads to making overseas
travel
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 more available.
While
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 there are several advantages to travelling around the world There are some drawbacks that must be considered.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides One of the main advantages of flying is speed. Many
people
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 choose aeroplane
travel
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due to
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 the fact that it is the fastest way to
travel
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.
Also
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, it is cheap and everyone can afford the economy flight.
Therefore
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 it is the perfect choice for most
people
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.
Moreover
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, travelling overseas could be helpful for various reasons.
For example
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. My uncle immigrated to Japan in 2011 to have a new life with great opportunities which he has achieved.
In addition
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, some
people
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 go to other countries to complete their studies and become scientists.
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While some
Correct word choice
Some
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people
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 are prone to
travel
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 just for fun and
explore
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to explore
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 other cultures.
Therefore
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, flying overseas enhances our development in many aspects of life.
On the other hand
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, a significant disadvantage is how these flights could damage our planet and cause climate change. That will affect us as human beings. And it will affect animals and plants. Actually, it will destroy everything if we do not start taking action against climate change.
For instance
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, carbon emissions from flying have detrimental damage to Earth.
Such
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 as
,
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apply
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 rising the sea level will cause global temperatures to become hotter. In conclusion, flying overseas offers some benefits
such
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 as speed. It
also
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 has downsides like climate change. It is fundamental to consider both sides.
Submitted by reem.rz112 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases, to make your argumentation smoother.
task achievement
Expand on some of your points to provide a more comprehensive discussion. Including additional relevant examples and explanations would strengthen your response.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting both advantages and disadvantages of the topic.
examples
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the mention of your uncle immigrating to Japan and the impact of carbon emissions on climate change.
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