Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It has become a trend to play

music

Use synonyms

in social and cultural

setting

Fix the agreement mistake

settings

show examples

around the world these days.

While

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

believe that

music

Use synonyms

is positively impactful to them, individually and socially, others argue that it

brings

Verb problem

has

show examples

a negative effect

Change preposition

show examples

both parties. I personally agree that the advantage outweighs the disadvantage and

this

Linking Words

essay will elaborate more on both sides. On the one side,

people

Use synonyms

who

convinced

Add a missing verb

are convinced

show examples

that

music

Use synonyms

is beneficial have particular points of view.

Firstly

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

enhances

better

Add an article

the better

show examples

mood for listeners. As individuals feel bored during working time, they usually listen to

music

Use synonyms

for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

thereby

helps

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

them to behave well.

For example

Linking Words

, car drivers usually turn on

radio

Add an article

the radio

a radio

show examples

for listening

Change preposition

to listen

show examples

music

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

driving.

While

Linking Words

their mood boosts up

due to

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

, they tend to drive safely and more polite to other roadway users.

Secondly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

music

Correct article usage

the music

show examples

industry contributes to increasing

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

level

Change preposition

show examples

a country.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

make money from singing, they

also

Linking Words

pay taxes to the government.

Thus

Linking Words

, it helps to increase national income.

For instance

Linking Words

, Taylor Swift multiplied Singapore’s GDP during her Era’s Tour concert. On the other side, individuals who argue that

music

Use synonyms

potentially

brings

Verb problem

has

show examples

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

impact have certain reasons. At

first,

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

influences younger generations to be less interested in studying.

Instead

Linking Words

of reading books, pupils prefer to play

music

Use synonyms

in their free time. It is because they find it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more enjoyable.

For example

Linking Words

, if there are two events held at the same time, reviewing books and watching a

music

Use synonyms

show, pupils are likely to choose the latter option.

Then

Linking Words

, socially, older generations believe that

music

Use synonyms

is noisy and it annoys them. They tend to have calming entertainment,

such

Linking Words

as reading newspapers.

However

Linking Words

, it seems that these concerns are minor compared to the benefits that are produced by

music

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, some citizens believe that

music

Use synonyms

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

young

people

Use synonyms

to avoid studying and old generations find

music

Use synonyms

irritating. Meanwhile, I have no doubt that the supremacies of

music

Use synonyms

in terms of improving mood and national economy outweigh those potential risks.

Submitted by chocolate10 on Tue Oct 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider providing more balanced examples for the negative impact of music. This will strengthen the discussion and provide a well-rounded analysis.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing the transitions between some of the paragraphs. This will improve the flow of the essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples are used effectively to support the main points, such as the example of Taylor Swift's concert.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Socio-cultural
Artistic expression
Cognitive development
Soundtrack
Moral implications
Acoustic ecology
Intellectual property
Authenticity
Commercialization
Media literacy
Sensory overload
Acculturation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
It is widely known that several high-tech companies are aiming to develop artificial intelligence to replace human drivers in the coming years. Some people believe this progress will help save time. However, others argue that it will cause numerous legal problems regarding accountability. From my perspective, this is a controversial issue that deserves an in-depth discussion.
7
band
More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in city. How can government make urban life better for everyone?
Nowadays, a significant increase in migrants to cities with a hope of better settlement is a big concern for societies around the world. The shortage of well-paid jobs in rural communities compels workers to immigrate to megacities with the purpose of better earnings for living. Unfortunately, job vacancies offered by manufacturing and service businesses require proficiency qualifications from applicants and the cost of living in general extremely high compared with their low incomes. I believe that two of the major causes for difficulty in city settlement are job opportunities and extremely high cost of real estate. However, central governments have also developed a number of long-term effective solutions to save the situation.
6.5
band
More and more people prefer to read e-books rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause for libraries?
In the cutting-edge era, more and more readers prefer electronic books instead of print books. This tendency tends to mitigate the number of people borrowing sorts of reading in libraries and this is facing to close down services as people would like to use a wide range of devices, which can be convenient and engaging. This essay will outline the reasons and problems of libraries.
8
band
You have recently moved to a new neighbourhood and would like to join a sports centre there. You have found a private sports club. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, introduce yourself say why are you interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc.
Hope you are doing well.
7
band
Students may have some problems with health such as eye strain and sleep issues because of the time mostly spent on laptop or computer. And maybe students become more adictted with social media if they use it at school and at home.
.In today’s society, the growing use of computers in education is viewed by some as a positive development, while others argue that it has negative consequences.

Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of difficulties of living in city. How can government make urban life better for everyone?

More and more people prefer to read e-books rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause for libraries?

Students may have some problems with health such as eye strain and sleep issues because of the time mostly spent on laptop or computer. And maybe students become more adictted with social media if they use it at school and at home.