People aim to keep a balance between their work and other parts of their lives, but few people achieve it. What are the problems in trying to achieve this goal and how can these problems be overcome?
In modern days, maintaining sustainable distributions between working hours and other daily tasks
have
considered to be challenging by many Verb problem
is
people
due to
the prevalence of overwork cultures and lack of regulations
encouraging workers
to take breaks after work
. This
paper aims to assess the issues from different prespective
with some solutions suggested to address the dilemma .
Correct your spelling
perspective
perspectives
Firstly
, an overwork
culture is embedded in some parts of the world, making Change the verb form
overworked
people
difficult in reserving time
for living compnents
other than office matters. Correct your spelling
components
Survey
conducted by Add an article
A survey
The survey
the
Tokyo University revealed that 90% of the Japanese Correct article usage
apply
employees
participated
Correct pronoun usage
who participated
have
reported that they Unnecessary verb
apply
have
normally Unnecessary verb
apply
work
for 4 extra hours beyond their regular business hours without a bonus salary Replace the word
worked
recieved
. With the overwork culture Correct your spelling
received
were
common in places like Japan and Korea, I am pessimistic that Unnecessary verb
apply
workers
from these regions would be able to allocate time
for leisure purposes.
Secondly
, in countries like Southeast Asia and India, there were no laws and regulations
protecting employee rights, making labour exploitation occuring
Correct your spelling
occur
in
Change preposition
on
an
often basis. It is believed to be a common expectation in some countries that "the boss is king", which Correct article usage
a
employees
must voluntarily obey instructions from their supervisors even they
are unreasonable, Correct word choice
if they
for example
requiring employees
to response
to Replace the word
respond
work related
messages after Add a hyphen
work-related
work
, making them impossible in finding personal time
for other meaningful aspects in their lives.
While
their
are circumstances that are making Replace the word
there
work
-life balance nearly impossible, there are some solutions which governments can consider to alleviate the unhealthy trend.
To shift the inappropiate
working cultures, governments can make efforts Correct your spelling
inappropriate
appropriate
in educating
Change preposition
to educate
people
on saving time
for purposes other than work
. For instances
, workshops can be set up Fix the agreement mistake
instance
delivering
the benefits of Change the verb form
to deliver
work
-life balance to the overall
working productivity, as well as
teaching
students the importance of taking quality Wrong verb form
teach
rests
Correct subject-verb agreement
rest
in
a daily basis.
Alongside education, actual Change preposition
on
regulations
can be immplemented
to prohibit employers Correct your spelling
implemented
retaining
Change preposition
from retaining
workers
from their after-hours. Some countries like Australia have regulations
banning employers from forcing employees
to respond to work
-related calls and emails, ensuring everyone to have
the opportunity to focus on things like family and interests when they are away from Change the verb form
has
work
.
All in all, "work
hard and play hard" is unfortunately a challenging idealogy to achieve by workers
at present days due to
barriers like culture and the lack of education. If governments can put regulations
and education measures in place, I am certain that people
in the future will find more time
available for them to relax from working tensions during the day.Submitted by 788seal on
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coherence cohesion
Work on logical structuring and flow between paragraphs. Consider using more transitional phrases and clearer topic sentences.
task achievement
Make sure your examples are relevant and clearly support the points being discussed. Be careful to avoid minor factual inaccuracies which can detract from the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Review your essay for grammatical errors and language inaccuracies. This will help to strengthen the clarity and overall readability of your writing.
task achievement
Expand on your points a bit more to make them clearer and more comprehensive. This will help improve the coherence of your arguments and aid in achieving a higher score.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and presents a clear thesis statement.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a hopeful outlook for future improvements in work-life balance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.