It is important to involve punishment when educating children so that they can distinguish right and wrong. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this notion?
It is essential to give punishment to the
children
while
educating them so that they can differentiate between right and wrong.This
essay will discuss this
point of view and give reasons as to why it is important to punish them in this
regard.
First of all,eduaction
and upbringing go hand in hand Correct your spelling
education
especially
during the early stages of life and in Add the comma(s)
, especially
this
crucial stage
it is necessary to teach them and guide them in Add a comma
stage,
such
a way
which would build up their personality
.For instance
, those children
whom
are subjected to punishment when they perform some Change the pronoun
who
henious
acts Correct your spelling
heinous
they
would gradually develop a habit of avoidance of these mistakes as they know about the consequences and Correct pronoun usage
apply
as a result
it develops a sense of responsibility and discipline among them.
On the other hand
, punishment
given to the Add an article
the punishment
children
should be minor
not major Add the comma(s)
minor,
due to
the reason major punishments sometimes Change preposition
apply
leave
a bad impact on their minds which in turn Verb problem
have
effect
their Correct your spelling
affect
personality
in the long run.For
example
major punishments sometimes incite hatred against elders resulting in frustration and stubbornness in Add a comma
example,
children
or sometimes other personality
disorders.
In conclusion
there are some ways for reformation of Add a comma
conclusion,
children
like grounding the child for few
hours until they realize their mistakes and Correct article usage
a few
apologies
.Replace the word
apologise
In addition
to it, ignorance is an other
Correct your spelling
another
way
to teach them the significance of discipline in life.In this
way
we would be able to cultivate their Add a comma
way,
personality
in a better way
.It develops a sense of self resilience
and Add a hyphen
self-resilience
preserverance
among these Correct your spelling
perseverance
children
because education is not just related to gain
knowledge Wrong verb form
gaining
it's
basic purpose is to implement Correct your spelling
its
it's
Replace the word
its
rulings
in our lives.Replace the word
rules
Submitted by saraamdc2018 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt. In this case, you've presented arguments for punishment but haven't discussed alternative viewpoints or the potential consequences. Addressing counterarguments and expanding on the implications would provide a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
Work on your paragraph structure to clearly separate different points. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and supports the argument logically. Transitions between paragraphs can also be smoother to enhance coherence.
task response
Provide stronger examples to support your points. Specific, detailed examples can make your argument more compelling and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task response
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the importance of punishment in educating children and presents clear ideas related to discipline and personality development.
coherence cohesion
You've included an introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!