It is important to involve punishment when educating children so that they can distinguish right and wrong. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this notion?
It is essential to give punishment to the
children
Use synonyms
while
educating them so that they can differentiate between right and wrong.Linking Words
This
essay will discuss Linking Words
this
point of view and give reasons as to why it is important to punish them in Linking Words
this
regard.
First of all,Linking Words
eduaction
and upbringing go hand in hand Correct your spelling
education
especially
during the early stages of life and in Add the comma(s)
, especially
this
crucial Linking Words
stage
it is necessary to teach them and guide them in Add a comma
stage,
such
a Linking Words
way
which would build up their Use synonyms
personality
.Use synonyms
For instance
, those Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
whom
are subjected to punishment when they perform some Change the pronoun
who
henious
acts Correct your spelling
heinous
they
would gradually develop a habit of avoidance of these mistakes as they know about the consequences and Correct pronoun usage
apply
as a result
it develops a sense of responsibility and discipline among them.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, Linking Words
punishment
given to the Add an article
the punishment
children
should be Use synonyms
minor
not major Add the comma(s)
minor,
Linking Words
due to
the reason major punishments sometimes Change preposition
apply
leave
a bad impact on their minds which in turn Verb problem
have
effect
their Correct your spelling
affect
personality
in the long run.Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
major punishments sometimes incite hatred against elders resulting in frustration and stubbornness in Add a comma
example,
children
or sometimes other Use synonyms
personality
disorders.
In Use synonyms
conclusion
there are some ways for reformation of Add a comma
conclusion,
children
like grounding the child for Use synonyms
few
hours until they realize their mistakes and Correct article usage
a few
apologies
.Replace the word
apologise
In addition
to it, ignorance is Linking Words
an other
Correct your spelling
another
way
to teach them the significance of discipline in life.In Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
way
we would be able to cultivate their Add a comma
way,
personality
in a better Use synonyms
way
.It develops a sense of Use synonyms
self resilience
and Add a hyphen
self-resilience
preserverance
among these Correct your spelling
perseverance
children
because education is not just related to Use synonyms
gain
knowledge Wrong verb form
gaining
it's
basic purpose is to implement Correct your spelling
its
it's
Replace the word
its
rulings
in our lives.Replace the word
rules
Submitted by saraamdc2018 on
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task response
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt. In this case, you've presented arguments for punishment but haven't discussed alternative viewpoints or the potential consequences. Addressing counterarguments and expanding on the implications would provide a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
Work on your paragraph structure to clearly separate different points. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and supports the argument logically. Transitions between paragraphs can also be smoother to enhance coherence.
task response
Provide stronger examples to support your points. Specific, detailed examples can make your argument more compelling and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
task response
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the importance of punishment in educating children and presents clear ideas related to discipline and personality development.
coherence cohesion
You've included an introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.