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Writing Samples /
Band 3

In many countries nowadays consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. do you think this a postive or negative development? give resons for your answer and include relevant examples?

#countries #consumers #supermarket #food #world #postive #development #resons
There is no doubt that these days most people in many countries buy
food
 from different regions .The question is.what
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the advantages and disadvantages
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the development.¿. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will delve into Both sides and
drawing
Wrong verb form
draw
show examples
 my conclusion . There are several advantages of obtaining all
different
Correct article usage
the different
show examples
 products which exported from various regions . There are many reasons to support
this
 claim .
Firstly
 , exporting
food
 from different
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 contributes to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 the economy of the countries . To illustrate , some rural areas depend on the plant
thus
 assisting
to
Change preposition
in to
show examples
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 financial level .
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 some people
believing
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of various types of foods allows the consumer to try different types of
food
 and know about other cultures.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 there are numerous opinions about the drawbacks of getting
food
settle
Wrong verb form
settled
show examples
 from other countries ,
For example
 , increasing the number of different products from different places can be affected and the local product will be decreased because of the export products which
are often prefer
Change the verb form
are often preferred
show examples
 by people .
In addition
, the country will
be buy
Change the verb form
be buying
be bought
show examples
extinsive
Correct your spelling
extensive
 amounts of money
togetting
Correct your spelling
to getting
getting
 the
food
 and
exhibit
Wrong verb form
exhibiting
show examples
 in
Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
show examples
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
. In conclusion , I could say that receiving different fruits and vegetables from various
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 contribute to
betterment
Correct article usage
the betterment
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 bond
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.  Other community.
Submitted by aldossaryfaten95 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving your logical structure by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will help make your arguments clearer and more persuasive.
task achievement
Strengthen your main points by providing more detailed and relevant examples. This can help illustrate and support your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
You've clearly presented both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your essay effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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