Some people believe that success is earning money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both sides and give your own opino
There is no denying that all
people
want to be successful in their lives and they try hard to achieve this
target. Some people
find the
success in being grateful for what they have and some of them consider riching as Correct article usage
apply
a
real happiness.
On Remove the article
apply
one
hand, many points of view find Correct article usage
the one
money
as a suluation
for all types of Correct your spelling
solution
difficults
and problems in the world. Correct your spelling
difficulties
difficult
For example
, if someone has a dangrouse
disease, he can buy his Correct your spelling
dangerous
heath
and be treated in a private hospital under the hands of Correct your spelling
health
proficinal
doctors in a short time Correct your spelling
proficient
not
like the government hospitals where their treatment takes a long time. Add the comma(s)
, not
Moreover
, if the guy has a great worth, he can make all his lovers cheerful and be recpected
by all Correct your spelling
respected
people
around him. To make it more clear, if he spend
Change the verb form
spends
many
of his funds to draw a smile on his relatives Correct quantifier usage
much
then
they will help him in
all Change preposition
with
what
he Correct word choice
that
need
at Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
anytime
.
Replace the word
any time
On the other hand
, a huge number of people
see that successful
life is being happy and Correct article usage
a successful
have
many Wrong verb form
having
heathy
Correct your spelling
healthy
realationships
even if they are poor and they have their reasons too. Correct your spelling
relationships
For instance
, they see that if they get rich, all people
will try to get close to them just because of money
. So they know that all people
around them are real lovers. Correct article usage
the people
In addition
, they think that earning money
needs a
hard work so they prefer earning little Remove the article
apply
money
by
Change preposition
in
easy
way so they have a lot of free time.
Correct article usage
an easy
To sum up
, I personally believe that making a worth plays a significant role in being Correct article usage
a recpectful
recpectful
and successful person. I advise all Correct your spelling
respectful
people
to try their best to find a huge amount so they can bulit
a great wall protecting Correct your spelling
build
built
his
family and offer them all their needs.Correct pronoun usage
their
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Grammar and Vocabulary
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents different viewpoints on what constitutes success and provides a personal opinion in the conclusion, which is good for task completion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly establishes the topic and context of the essay, and the conclusion summarizes your position effectively.