Education should be accessible to people of all economic backgrounds. All level of education, from primary to tertiary school should be free. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People held different views about whether
education
should be totally free or not. Personally, I do not agree with the statement that
education
should be accessible to all socioeconomic groups entirely,
however
, primary and secondary schools should be available for every citizen.
This
essay demonstrates
firstly
the significance of free
education
till university for everyone followed by an analysis of the negative consequences of
accessiblity
Correct your spelling
accessing
high-level schools for everyone in the entire society.
To begin
with, every child should go to secondary school has crucial importance that all adults are able to learn basic
knowledge
in all subjects like language, math, geography and so on for their benefit.
In other words
, every young adult must gain minimal
knowledge
free that in the next career step when they are concerned about their future professional path or the source of their earnings lack of
knowledge
could not obstacle to their choice.
For instance
,
according to
the investigation by Cambridge University in 2014, in Gana, there are 42.3% of the young between 18 and 29 age cannot go ahead in their career path just from the reason of the shortage of basic
knowledge
.
Consequently
,
such
a situation as Gana has a significant adverse effect not only on individuals' lives but
also
on the countries' economic progress.
On the other hand
, a totally free-on-charge school system
also
damages the economy. Universities
demands
Change the verb form
demand
show examples
additional years from individuals,
as well as
, a certain financial budget at least for didactic materials.
As a result
, the poor young cannot concentrate on their academic career meanwhile, becomes a financial difficulty for their families.
For example
, in Japan
Add a comma
,
show examples
high-level medical schools are accessible to children from families only that have certain financial resources. In conclusion,
while
I agree gaining
education
is the right of every child, I believe universities should not be accessible to everyone.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from providing more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This can strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas and paragraphs are clearly linked with appropriate transition words. This will improve the overall coherence and make your arguments easier to follow.
overall
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your sentence structures to make the essay more engaging and to demonstrate your language skills effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear statement of your position, setting up the essay well.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the issue, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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