You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorect. write a letter to the editor of the magazin.In your letter correct the information in the article explan why it is important for the magazin to give correct information suggest what the magazine should do about this situation

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

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letter regarding an article which is about the history and traditions of Iran that was published on 17 October 2023 in Hamshahri magazine ,

this

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data related city called Shiraz,which, is located in the south of Iran was wrong.

Firstly

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,I have seen some information which was mentioned incorrectly about the tomb of Cyrus the Great,it was said that the tomb had been situated in Ahwaz which is not correct

therefore

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you should correct it,

additionally

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,it is important to

tourism

Add an article

the tourism

a tourism

show examples

industry that transmission data to tourists and native people before they coming and visit closely.

Moreover

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,I recommend you set up a professional team to recheck the essays before they are published in newspapers and websites.

Besides

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on the other hand

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, I believe the magazine should republish the article with the correct location of the history,It would greatly benefit new tourists. Hopefully, I will receive positive feedback in the next newspaper. Thank you in advance. Yours sincerely, Pardis Ghobadi

pardisghobadiWed Oct 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that all sentences are clear and complete, particularly in terms of grammar and punctuation. For example, 'moreover' and 'besides' should not be used interchangeably and need proper sentence structure.

task achievement

Although your points are clear and well-organized, include some more details or examples to fully address the importance of correct information and your recommendation.

task achievement

You effectively covered the main aspects of the prompt: correcting the information, explaining the importance of accuracy, and suggesting a solution.

coherence cohesion

The letter is well-structured, with clear paragraphs that each address a specific point.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

164 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

incorrect information
misleading
rectify
significance
credibility
fact-based
accurate depiction
reliable sources
misinformation
influence public perception
tourist attraction
reputation
publish a correction
conduct research
consult local experts
accurate representation

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