IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s fast-paced global society, countless individuals migrate abroad for a better quality of life. Many
advocates
Fix the agreement mistake
advocate
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 that
people
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 conform to local
customs
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 and
traditions
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 when settling in a new
country
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. I strongly agree with
this
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 idea because of some problems and benefits that
people
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 can face with them. There are two essential reasons newcomers should blend into the local culture in the host
country
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.
Firstly
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, refusing to adapt to the host environment would create a cultural barrier for immigrants.
This
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 leads to social isolation, which negatively influences
people
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’s lives.
Secondly
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, limited knowledge of local
customs
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 may result in some illegal actions in the host
country
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 and make local
people
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 unpleased.
For instance
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, in Singapore, one of the cleanest countries in Asia, residents consider anyone dirty and ill-mannered if they litter the street or spit gum in public. Newcomers can benefit if they adopt a new
country
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’s
customs
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 and
traditions
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. One benefit is that if immigrants behave
according to
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 the local norms, they will be accepted readily by local inhabitants.
As a result
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, they can gain respect and affection and some help from the locals.
For example
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, when enterprises want to expand their production in a new
country
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, they must be aware of business practices there, providing them with helpful information to maximize profits. Another benefit is that newcomers gain a rich knowledge of local
customs
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 and
traditions
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, enabling them to participate actively in the community’s activities. In many festivals,
people
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 can participate freely and feel harmonious like their
country
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. In conclusion, embracing local
customs
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 and
traditions
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 is not merely beneficial for immigrants to integrate socially and psychologically but is essential for fostering a sense of community and mutual respect in our increasingly interconnected world.

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction should introduce the topic and your thesis statement. Each body paragraph should focus on a single idea, supported by examples or explanations. Your conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your thesis in light of the discussion.
coherence
Maintain coherence by ensuring each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use cohesive devices (such as linking words, pronouns, and conjunctions) appropriately to help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, make sure you address all parts of the task prompt comprehensively. Develop your points fully and support them with relevant examples or evidence. Demonstrate a clear position throughout the essay and conclude your argument effectively.
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