The pie chart show what makes people most happy for two different age groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #people #two #age #groups #information #features #comparisons

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The given pie charts compare data about activities that help

people

Use synonyms

of 2 various ranges of ages to have a happy time.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is important that for both groups of

people

Use synonyms

, the main element that makes them happy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is achievement at work

while

Linking Words

the lowest fraction is from Other factors.

According to

Linking Words

the diagrams, Achievement at work, the most popular item that helps populations in all ranges of age become happy, for both groups have roughly the same percentage as nearly one-third. The second one is Doing hobbies;

moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who are over 30 years old hit 24%;

additionally

Linking Words

, their proportions are 2% more than other communities.

Thirdly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who are under 30 like to have a good appearance by 18%

instead

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of another one who likes to have financial security by 20%. The graphs demonstrate that The fourth item that makes young generations happy is travelling at 15% ;

in contrast

Linking Words

, The fraction of spending time with their family is 14% for adults.

Finally

Linking Words

, the Other factors that make

people

Use synonyms

happy for youth, which scored 14%, is 4% more than other

people

Use synonyms

Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on Wed Oct 02 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

184 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

illustrates
contributing factors
distinct age groups
primary sources
comprising
leading contributors
predominant
accounting for
underscores contrasts
prioritize
universal aspects of well-being
engaging in enjoyable activities
source of joy

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The pie chart show what makes people most happy for two different age groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some countries pay high salaries to its employees. It is argued that countries must not do it and impose limits on salaries. Do you agree or disagree ?

In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society

Reserarch show that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. what is the causes of this ? what can be done ?