Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The debate
that
whether Change preposition
about
competition
or cooperation
should be prioritized has aroused strong repercussions. People
are divided into two parts by views of the debate. They all think that the
one Change the article
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
sides
is better than the other.
As we all know, Fix the agreement mistake
side
people
will finish their work
better with some motivations
. A good Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
competition
can make a difference by the angle. People
will get some awards if they exceed others in the competition
. They will have a
better Correct article usage
apply
emotion
and Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
being
better selves.
In the same way, Wrong verb form
be
cooperation
also
has its advantages. People
are emotional animals. Cooperation
can build good relationships between each person. People
can be marvelous
friends Change the spelling
marvellous
by
Change preposition
through
cooperation
. At the same time, a person's power is limited. Cooperation
can gather people
's power in order to finish work
.
In my opinion, I think that we should keep things in perspective. Competition
or cooperation
has its disadvantages. A bad competition
will destroy people
's relationship
and Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
work
environment. Too many
Correct quantifier usage
much
cooperation
will make people
become lazy and losing
Wrong verb form
lose
work's
Change noun form
work
motivations
. At the same time, it is not an Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
either or
world. Add a hyphen
either-or
The
Correct article usage
Competition
competition
and cooperation
can be combined. We should encourage people
to combined
Replace the word
combine
competition
and cooperation
properly in order to make use of their functions. By doing the
Correct article usage
apply
thing
completely, we can have a better relationship Fix the agreement mistake
things
between
each other and we can make Change preposition
with
world
Add an article
the world
become
better.Verb problem
apply
Submitted by tl868 on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more relatable to the reader.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly. There are a few sentences where the meaning is a bit unclear. For example, 'Too many cooperation will make people become lazy and losing work's motivations.' could be rephrased to 'Excessive cooperation can lead to people becoming lazy and losing motivation to work.'
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Although the essay has a good structure, some transitions could be smoother. For example, try using connecting words like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition,' to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument and given your own opinion, which shows good task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.