Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The debate
that
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about
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whether
competition
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or
cooperation
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should be prioritized has aroused strong repercussions.
People
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are divided into two parts by views of the debate. They all think that
the
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apply
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one
of
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apply
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sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
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is better than the other. As we all know,
people
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will finish their
work
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better with some
motivations
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motivation
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. A good
competition
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can make a difference by the angle.
People
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will get some awards if they exceed others in the
competition
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. They will have
a
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apply
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better
emotion
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emotions
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and
being
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be
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better selves. In the same way,
cooperation
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also
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has its advantages.
People
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are emotional animals.
Cooperation
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can build good relationships between each person.
People
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can be
marvelous
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marvellous
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friends
by
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through
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cooperation
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. At the same time, a person's power is limited.
Cooperation
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can gather
people
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's power in order to finish
work
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. In my opinion, I think that we should keep things in perspective.
Competition
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or
cooperation
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has its disadvantages. A bad
competition
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will destroy
people
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's
relationship
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relationships
show examples
and
work
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environment. Too
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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cooperation
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will make
people
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become lazy and
losing
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lose
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work's
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work
show examples
motivations
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motivation
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. At the same time, it is not an
either or
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either-or
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world.
The
Correct article usage
Competition
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competition
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and
cooperation
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can be combined. We should encourage
people
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to
combined
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combine
show examples
competition
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and
cooperation
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properly in order to make use of their functions. By doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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completely, we can have a better relationship
between
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with
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each other and we can make
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
become
Verb problem
apply
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better.
Submitted by tl868 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more relatable to the reader.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly. There are a few sentences where the meaning is a bit unclear. For example, 'Too many cooperation will make people become lazy and losing work's motivations.' could be rephrased to 'Excessive cooperation can lead to people becoming lazy and losing motivation to work.'
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Although the essay has a good structure, some transitions could be smoother. For example, try using connecting words like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition,' to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument and given your own opinion, which shows good task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
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